


The years between fire and darkness

by Oakenstruck



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Action/Adventure, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Death, F/M, Falling In Love, Graphic Description, Humor, Love Confessions, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Psychological Torture, Riding, Rough Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Torture, True Love, Violence, Whipping, dub con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2013-08-16
Packaged: 2017-12-23 17:01:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 36,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/928946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oakenstruck/pseuds/Oakenstruck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is set post-Smaug and before the dwarves resettle in the Blue Mountains. </p><p>It describe the years in the life of Thorin Oakenshield between those to events. It is a story of love, lust and adversity.</p><p>It is also my very first fanfiction with plot. It took me months to write it, so please; be gentle!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I would like the thank my beta-reader and mentor Lady Anne, for all her help and support. Specials thanks to Lady Oakenshield who was kind enough to do a second read for mistakes and typos. Hopefully, they are all gone now!
> 
> Please note, that I am NOT a Tolkien expert. I did check the Simarilion a couple of times to make sure that what I was writing made sense, but it is possible that some details might not fit in.
> 
> Also of note, I took inspiration from the fanfic Clarity by Forianna and Thorinsexenshield, for my idea of Arukhel, though I put a twist on it I still prefered to reference it as I did not mean to steal this idea from the author in any way.

“Coming!!!”, you yelled out from inside your house. 

Looking down at your bags, you could hardly believe you were just about to leave everything you knew behind… Gandalf had come to you a few days back, requesting that you join him and a bunch of dwarves, to aid them find a suitable new home. When he invited you along, your first reaction was to laugh out loud. You. On the road. With dwarves. Yes, of course that made perfect sense! You tried to convince Gandalf that it was utterly ludicrous that you should leave your town, your job, and your friends behind to go help other people, that you didn’t even know, find a place to live. But, as it were, saying ‘no’ to Gandalf was no easy feat. He just had this way to put you at ease and twist things around so you felt like you couldn’t possible say no to him. 

Of course, Gandalf’s main argument made logical sense. You were well known throughout the kingdom for your gifts as a healer. Your own father had been a healer, too, and before he passed, he made sure you received the best training from him and other healers among the race of Men. Even though there was a dwarf among the company that had knowledge of herbs and medicine, he didn’t have your comprehension of the physical body or of how to mend severe wounds and heal diseases. So yes, it made sense that they could use your services while they were roaming the wild. 

However, you argued to Gandalf, that you weren’t quite sure you would get along with these dwarves, which was a poor attempt of an excuse. You had never officially met a dwarf before, though you’d seen some in the market. They mostly kept to themselves and none of them ever came to your shop for mending. Gandalf insisted that they were quite a merry bunch and that you would get along fine with them, but you weren’t convinced. 

You lived a quiet and mostly peaceful life here. You were making a good living as a healer since word travelled of your talents, and your days went by fast with the many customers or rather patients who came to see you for health issues.  It was true that you wouldn’t be leaving anyone of importance behind, however. You didn’t have a life partner, nor any family either. You lived alone and you were quite happy with how things were going. 

Still, you had agreed to meet with a part of the company before heading out. You knew you would have 13 companions travelling with Gandalf and you on this quest, but you started off by meeting only 3 of them. Upon their arrival, a happy-looking dwarf with a funny hat came toward you and introduced himself. His name was Bofur and you took a liking to him right away. He was kind and light-hearted, and you felt at ease with him, which led you to believe that this adventure might not be as bad as you first thought. Nevertheless, things turned a bit sour when you met some of the others. 

The other two didn’t seem as enthusiastic to meet you as Bofur was. They were mostly staying a good distance from you, eyeing you from time to time and talking amongst themselves, which made you quite uncomfortable. Plus, there was one of them who frankly just scared you. He looked sturdy and powerful; undoubtedly a warrior. When they both started to walk toward you, you got a better look at the warrior. He looked pretty fierce indeed and you swallowed with difficulty, anticipating a rough and impolite introduction. But when he got closer to you, he smiled at you genuinely, and he leaned in to grab your hand and kiss it, as delicately as it was possible for a dwarf. You were quite surprised, and you were also reminded that you should never judge a book by its cover, making you a bit ashamed of yourself. 

“My lady, I am Dwalin. At your service.” 

You smiled back at him, bowing a little, a slight blush covering your cheeks. 

“Nice to meet you”, you answered back. “You have such a gentle smile… I didn’t expect that…” 

“Ah, well, dwarves will surprise you, in more ways than one, my lady” and he winked at you. 

He wasn’t so bad after all, no, not so bad at all. Dwalin stepped aside in order for you to meet the remaining dwarf. He was taller than the others. He had long, raven-black locks with a few white streaks, a full beard, and the bluest eyes you had ever seen. There was no doubt in your mind that he was the King-to-be that Gandalf had talked to you about. There was a presence about him that commanded authority and obedience… even his clothes, a heavy furry pelt he wore over his armor, made him look majestic. He walked toward you with assurance and pride -- perhaps even a bit too much pride. Still, you couldn’t deny how good-looking he was. You had never imagined a dwarf could look so… well… hot and sexy, to be honest. 

When he got near you, he stopped and looked you straight in the eyes, with no hesitation, showing much self-confidence. He had the face of an angel, like chiselled from marble by the maker and combined with what looked like a perfectly ‘manly’ body; he almost took your breath away. But then, he spoke. 

“My lady, thank you for taking the time to meet with us. I am Thorin Oakenshield, leader of this company.” 

His voice was like sweet velvety chocolate. You felt entranced by it, like you could listen to him talk for hours. He looked at you from head to toe, in a very belittling manner. 

“I am sorry we misled you. Gandalf was obviously mistaken. He told me he had found a proper healer to join my company. You couldn’t possibly have such skills. Plus, being a woman, of all things, makes it impossible for you to follow us on the road. We’ve wasted enough time. We’ll take our leave now.” 

“Huh, come again?”, you answered back, insulted. 

Thorin suddenly turned on his heels and walked back to his pony, ready to leave the premises without even answering you. Dwalin gave you an uneasy smile and turned to follow him while Gandalf let out a chuckle. 

“You find this amusing, Wizard? He doesn’t even know me and he pretends to discredit my abilities?”

“Don’t mind him, my dear. You’ll come to realize quick enough that dwarves are very stubborn. Particularly where Thorin is concerned. He has a bit of a temper and prefers to do this ‘his’ way.” 

“Really, thanks for pointing that out, Oh Great One!” 

Gandalf laughed out loud this time. Nothing seemed to bother that man. He helped you grab your bags, evidently still intent on brining you along. You knew there was no point arguing with him, so you tried to put your newfound dislike for Thorin Oakenshield aside and follow Gandalf’s lead. You saw him go over and talk to the leader. Thorin didn’t seem happy about it, but still, he nodded in agreement, not even looking at you once, and pointed to a pony for you to ride. So you went inside to gather the rest of your things. 

*** 

At first, when you noticed him, a thrill had run through you at the thought of being on the road with such a good-looking man or rather, dwarf. But now, he didn’t seem as hot as he did before. He suddenly was more like a pain in your side. You also had a temper about you, never letting people step on your toes or order you around. You were a proud woman and a talented healer, and you wouldn’t let that awful dwarf put you down at every turn. You could easily foresee a whole lot of heated ‘discussions’ between you and the King-to-be. But you would try your best to mind your outbursts. You were only doing this as a service to Gandalf anyway. 

Coming back to reality, you contemplated the days to come. _Well, this should be interesting_ , you thought to yourself, leaving the house and getting ready to straddle your pony. 

*** 

“So?” 

“So? So, what Dwalin?” 

“Come on Thorin, you know what I mean… What do you think of her?” 

“Of who? That woman?” 

“Yeah, the healer. She’s one beautiful little thing, isn’t she?” 

“You must be joking! She’s just someone else I’ll have to look after! This whole endeavor is turning into a baby-sitting nightmare! I’ll have to watch over her every second of every day to make sure she doesn’t get killed!”

“Oh, poor you… watching over her night and day, what a painful chore…” 

“Shut up, Dwalin! I really don’t get what you see in her!” 

“It’s not ‘in’ her, stupid. It’s staring you in the face!” 

Thorin snorted at that. Turning around on his pony, he looked at you over his shoulder. You were happily chatting with Bofur. You looked carefree, a smile dancing on your lips. Thorin had to admit to himself that he envied this lightness you seemed to have. Thorin’s eyes softened a little when he heard the sound of your laughter, and Dwalin, knowing his King pretty well, noticed it…. 

“See!  Told ya!” 

“Shut up, Dwalin!”


	2. Chapter 2

The first day of riding was brutal. You weren’t accustomed to being on horseback for so long but there was no way in hell you would complain and give Thorin the satisfaction. He hadn’t even glanced at you since you left your home. 

You had spent most of your time getting to know Bofur a bit more. You didn’t like talking about yourself much, so you tried to focus the dialogue on getting him to talk more about himself and the company. Bofur had a slight teasing expression on his face every time you asked him a question, as soon as he had finished answering the previous one, which led you to believe that he knew you were trying to avoid disclosure, but if he did know, he made no mention of it in front of the others. 

You were to meet with the rest of the dwarves on the road later that day. Thorin, who was always riding at the front of the pack with Dwalin, slowed his pony to come and talk to you for the first time since you were introduced. 

“Today you’ll be meeting with Oin. He’s our apothecary, “ said Thorin, a look of amusement in his eyes. 

“Okay, I’m looking forward to it.” 

“Yes. I’m sure you are. You see, Oin is the one usually in charge of such matters as our health and wounds. I’m sure he’ll be _thrilled_ to meet you, the woman who’s come to take his job away.” 

You gritted your teeth at what Thorin’s words implied, fury boiling up inside you. You reacted so fiercely to him, it was as if he knew _exactly_ how to make you blind with anger. You knew better than to reply to him so you took a steadying breath, reminding yourself that Gandalf had counselled patience. Thorin needed some time to get accustomed to having you around. 

Following that exchange with Thorin, you couldn’t help but feel apprehensive about meeting Oin. He had every reason to be angry with you for being there. Thorin was right, though you hated to admit it. 

*** 

“Why do you keep antagonizing her, Thorin?” 

“Me? I would never! I just want her to know her place, that’s all,“ Thorin replied to Dwalin. 

“Still, she left everything behind to give us a hand. Her skills might come in handy one day. You should remember that before you make an enemy of her.” 

“An enemy?! Ah! Please, she wouldn’t hurt a fly! Look at her! She’s so small and delicate. With her ivory skin and soft petite hands…” Thorin stopped short and shrugged off his embarrassment when he realized Dwalin’s brows had shot up into his hairline. 

“Yes, indeed. I can see why you hate her so, Thorin!” 

*** 

You were pleasantly surprised when you finally met with Oin. He was very excited to hear everything you had to say about medicine and anatomy. He seemed to be beyond happy to meet a fellow healer and rapidly informed you that he wanted to learn absolutely everything you could teach him about your art. You felt such relief to be in control of _something_ , talking about the subject you knew best with someone who appreciated your knowledge and wisdom. So you spent the rest of that days’ trip talking with Oin while riding. 

Before long, all the other members of the company joined the group and you were introduced to Thorin’s nephews Kili and Fili. They looked like two adolescents looking for trouble! They kept arguing about random stuff and making scenes, but what you loved best about them was the fact that they knew perfectly well how to piss Thorin off. It made you laugh out loud every single time, which of course, only encouraged them to continue. 

The company then decided to stop and camp for the night. You started to unpack some of your stuff while still listening and laughing at Kili and Fili’s constant nagging of Thorin. After a good long while of indulging them, Thorin came to you, grabbed you by the arm, and dragged you away from the rest of the group while Dwalin followed the two of you with a watchful gaze, a slight smile gracing his lips. 

“Would you mind terribly _not_ encouraging them?” he said.

“What? They’re just having a bit of fun. You should try it sometime.” 

“The road is no place for _fun,_ my lady.” 

“Oh, by the Gods, enough of this already!” you snapped. Thorin was surprised by your sudden outburst and let go of your arm and took a step back. 

“I mean seriously, Thorin, what crawled up your ass and died?” 

Thorin looked at you and for a fraction of a second, you thought he was about to start laughing. But you were sadly mistaken. Thorin grabbed your arm again and tightened his grip on it and began talking to you with a dry and harsh tone. 

“You my lady, are the bane of my existence right now. How long will it be before you start complaining about sleeping outside instead of in your comfortable bed? Or, how long before you complain about the cold nights? And what about your fucking safety? Did you even think about that? Do you think it puts me at ease to imagine you defenceless? Or worse, taken prisoner by some foul dark creature? What would I do if that happened? Huh?” 

“What? Where did all that come from? You’re concerned with my safety now? Well, sorry to be such a burden! I can take care of myself, thank you very much!” 

“Ha! I’d like to see that in action! A tiny woman like yourself facing an Orc perhaps? I’m sure you’d have the upper hand!” 

You were seeing red in an instant. He was definitely making the worst of you come out. You reached for a small dagger you were always carrying tucked into your corset and you jumped forward on Thorin, pushing him against a tree, putting the blade of your knife against his throat, before whispering to him with a threatening voice: 

“You have _no_ idea who you are dealing with, Thorin Oakenshield. I can hold my own without your help.” 

You stepped away from him, sheathing your dagger and enjoying the look of utter shock on Thorin’s face, appreciating the fact that his breath had hitched in his throat at the contact of your cold blade on his warm skin. He was now breathing hard and staring at you. 

“You should do well to remember that next time you feel like insulting me, _my Lord._ ” 

You turned around and walked back to join the company, not noticing that Dwalin was hiding behind the bushes mere steps away and had witnessed the whole scene. Dwalin was debating if he should confront Thorin about what had just happened. He walked quietly toward Thorin, to assess the situation. Thorin was still breathing hard as he rubbed a hand over his face, shaking his head. Dwalin wasn’t sure what to make of the expression on the prince’s face just now. 

Thorin’s eyes were dark and dangerous, like he was about to take revenge for the insult you just did him. But instead, he shifted uneasily on his feet and looked down at himself. He had the mother of all hard-ons from your audacity and his cock was painfully pressing against his pants. “Fuck,” he muttered. He reached down and eased his erection through his briefs, hissing at the contact, trying to alleviate some of the unbearable pressure he felt there. Dwalin let a soft chuckle escape him when he realized the prince was aroused by his little fight with you. He left Thorin alone to think about what had just happened and take the opportunity to… well… enjoy himself a bit. 

You walked back to join the others. Kili and Fili were waiting for your return anxiously. 

“Are you okay?”said Fili. 

“We’re sorry! We didn’t mean to cause any trouble. We know how Uncle can get when he’s upset,” said Kili. 

“No worries, boys. It’s fine really; we just had a little chat together. Everything’s cleared up now.” 

Your gaze fell back to the place where Thorin and you had disappeared behind the bush and you began to wonder why Thorin wasn’t coming back. _Shit_ , you thought to yourself, _I really should be more careful. He’ll notice that something’s off, and if he starts asking questions…_   You took a deep breath and you started walking back toward the bushes. 

“Ah! Nope, my lady, that’s really not a good idea. You should leave him alone a bit,” said Dwalin. 

“Don’t worry about me, Dwalin. I just want to make sure I wasn’t too harsh with him.” 

“Well, yes, I understand that but you know…. Thorin’s a proud dwarf. I think it best if you just let him… hum… deal with this in his own way.” 

“Perhaps you are right, Dwalin. You’re a good friend to him. He’s lucky to have you.” 

“Thank you, my lady!” 

A good friend indeed. For behind the cover of the leafs and branches, Thorin was sitting down at the base of the tree, cock in hand, jerking off furiously. He couldn’t help it. There was no way he was going back to meet the group with a hard-on like that one! He wouldn’t give you the satisfaction of noticing the effect you had on him. An effect he didn’t understand and it confused him greatly. He felt both anger and lust for you, but… there was something else. Something he couldn’t quite grasp yet. Images of you when he first met you came rushing back to his mind. Those images were so vivid, so crystal clear he could almost smell the sweet scent of your hair. He recalled the fierce look in your eyes when you attacked him. You were… so… powerful, taking control over him like that and he shivered. _Who is that woman?_ , he desperately thought before spilling over his hand with a muffled groan. Eyes shut, trying to steady his breathing; he soon realized he was still waiting for that feeling of satisfaction to wash over him. Though his cock was now limp between his legs, he still felt an intense burning deep in his gut and visions of you still lingered in his mind. He wasn’t going to find peace tonight that was certain. 

*** 

That night you couldn’t sleep properly. You kept tossing and turning, unable to rest. You woke up with a start when you felt someone press a hand over your mouth. Your eyes shot open and you saw Thorin looking down at you. You tried to wiggle away from his grasp, but he laid his body over yours to keep you still. To your never-ending shame, you realized you were both naked and that Thorin’s skin was scorching hot against yours. When did this happen? Where were your clothes? The others!!! Gods, the others they’ll see, they’ll know! A million questions ran through your mind but everything came to a crushing halt when you felt Thorin enter your heat in one swift move. You tried to throw your head back, moaning into his hand on your mouth, the intense pleasure of being filled by him overwhelming your trembling body… 

Someone suddenly grabbed your shoulders and started to shake you about. 

“My Lady! My lady, wake up! You’re dreaming!” 

Startled, you opened your eyes to see Bofur bending over you, trying to shake you awake. 

“What? Where am I? What just happened?” 

“You were dreaming my lady. And from the sounds you were making, it wasn’t a bad dream!” 

Your eyes darted out to Thorin’s bedroll. Bofur followed your gaze. When your eyes met Bofur’s again, you understood that Bofur wouldn’t tell a soul about what had just happened. He knew. He knew you dreamt of Thorin, but he would keep it to himself. He looked at you with a sweet compassionate smile. 

“Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me. Now try to sleep a little. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”


	3. Chapter 3

When you woke up the next morning, you tried not to look too embarrassed when you went to sit by Bofur for breakfast. He gave you a knowing smile, but made no mention of your dream from the night before. When Thorin met up with the group, he seemed moodier than usual, which left you feeling uncomfortable. Was he going to confront you about that outburst of yours yesterday? Would he force you to explain to him why you were so agile with a blade? His gaze met yours when he sat down and you couldn’t read his expression. You looked away, as casually as you could, and kept eating your breakfast and chatting with the gang. 

Gandalf was leaving today and it wasn’t putting the dwarves at ease. He had some other endeavor to attend to and being a Wizard and all, well, he really didn’t have to explain himself to the company. Before leaving for the day’s riding, you bade him farewell for now, a little pinch of disappointment in your stomach at being left alone with the dwarves and you went to pack your things. 

After rolling your bed mat, you dug your hand behind your belt and pulled out your handkerchief. It was the last trinket remaining from your family; your father had given it to you when he considered you were officially a healer after your training with him. At least, that’s what you would tell the others if they should ever ask you about that small piece of cloth. It meant the world to you and it bore your family crest. It made you nervous in a sense, but you quickly reminded yourself that there was no way dwarves would recognize that symbol or know the meaning of it. It was a crest from the world of Men after all. Still you were careful with it, only taking it out once in while, when you were homesick or when you felt you needed a little extra courage. There was no way they could learn who you truly were. 

A muffled noise pulled you out of your reverie and you put your handkerchief back in place. It seemed no one else had heard it, but a feeling of dire unease took you over suddenly. Your nostrils flared and you brought your hand up to where your dagger was sheathed, your instincts suddenly alert. You walked slowly toward the others and you saw Dwalin was looking in the same direction you were. He turned his gaze on you, his brows furrowed, a questioning look in his eyes. 

It all happened very fast. Dwalin was suddenly thrown to the ground, a huge rogue Warg crashing down on him. You screamed at the top of your lungs while running to help him, the others joining you. Kili and Fili pulled you out of the way, so you wouldn’t hurt yourself, no doubt. Thorin was on the Warg’s back in seconds. He tackled the beast at a frightening speed, plunging his blade into the Warg’s side. It took several blows from Thorin’s sword before the beast released its hold on Dwalin, who fell to the ground unconscious and bleeding profusely. 

“Out of the way! Everyone just get out of the way, let me have a look at him,” you said. 

Thorin was still in shock, looking down at the dead Warg and back to Dwalin who looked pale, as he lay unconscious, blood oozing through his clothing. 

“Where did that thing come from? I didn’t hear a damn thing…” said Thorin.

“Never mind that, Thorin. I have to tend to Dwalin right away. It looks serious.” 

The others helped drag Dwalin away so you could examine him. There was a huge gash on his side; the Warg’s teeth had deeply pierced the skin there and he was losing a lot of blood. 

“Ori! Get my toolkit and some wine or ale. Thorin, Kili and Fili, hold him down. I’ll have to clean the wound and then stitch him up. It’s gonna hurt him, a lot. It won’t be pretty.” 

When Ori got back, you took the wine and poured it onto Dwalin’s wound. A sharp cry came from him as he returned to consciousness.

“Durin’s sake what the fuck was that?!! What just happened?” 

He was thrashing from side to side, trying to get free, which was only making him bleed more. 

“Dwalin, it’s okay. Calm down and stop moving about. You were attacked by a Warg. You have a large wound on your side. I need to clean it and then sew it up. The pain is going to be intense.” 

“I understand. Just do it”, the proud warrior said.

“Take a slug of that wine and sniff a bit of these herbs. It will dull the pain. A little.” 

“No. No funny herbs and shit. Just do what you have to do.” 

You looked up into Thorin’s eyes then, for approval. His pained expression nagged at your heart a little, but then he nodded in agreement. So you poured some more wine on the wound and you picked up your needle and thread. 

“Ready? Take a deep breath.” 

Thorin grabbed Dwalin’s large hand in his, giving him something to hold onto, to get through the pain. The warrior took a long steadying breath and before he exhaled completely, you dug your needle in his flesh promptly. Dwalin winced through gritted teeth, gripping Thorin’s hand in his until his knuckles were white. Dwalin shut his eyes tight but he didn’t make a sound. Not a peep. You finished sewing him up and cleaned your instruments while Ori marvelled at the work you just did. There was only this thin red line with stitches left. It didn’t look half as bad as it did before. 

“Now you need to rest. I will leave you in Ori’s very capable hands and this time, my dear Dwalin, you _will_ have to comply and take those ‘herbs and shit’ because otherwise, that wound will get infected and you’ll die. Am I making myself clear?” 

Dwalin half-smiled at you, grateful but exhausted. 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

You walked back to you bags to put away your material and Thorin followed you. 

“Hum…” 

You sighed heavily. “Yes, Thorin. What is it now?” 

“Why must you always be so defensive? I was just coming over to t-…” 

“Coming over to what? Complain about me again? You want to inform me that Ori could’ve handled this on his own, no doubt?” 

“You infuriating woman!” Thorin shouted through clenched teeth. “I was actually coming over to _thank you_. The way you handled the situation with Dwalin… well… it was… I mean, I was…” 

“Wow… it pains you to even say it, doesn’t it!” 

“Would you shut up for a minute! I was… _impressed_ with your skills. There, happy?” 

“And why would I care what you think of me?” 

A sharp pang went through Thorin’s chest at your words. Harsh words for sure, but still, quite true. Why indeed would you care what he thought? He was an arse to you from the very first time you met and he’d not change. So he shrugged off your comment and turned around to leave. 

“Thorin, wait! Thorin, I’m sorry… I just, I don’t know what came over me.” 

“Your obvious disgust with me is quite apparent. Don’t worry, I understand perfectly.” 

“No Thorin, I didn’t mean…” 

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” he whispered in resignation and left hanging his head. 

_Why in the name of the Gods, do I react like that every single time he talks to me? He wanted to thank me. He actually said something… nice to me and I totally brushed him off. Why does he keep bringing out the worst in me?_

You felt awful. But at the same time, you were kind of happy that Thorin looked like he would keep his distance from you. That also meant he wouldn’t be tempted to ask you questions about your past. Why, then, were you feeling a terrible sense of loss when he left you there? 

*** 

“Pretty stressful morning wouldn’t you agree? How are you holding up?” said Bofur. 

“I’m better than Dwalin, that’s for sure. He’s strong, though; he’ll be on the mend in no time.” 

“Still. It was pretty awesome what you did back there. You were so confident; it all put us at ease to see how calm you were. I thought Dwalin wouldn’t make it with such an ugly wound.” 

“Well, I guess this is why Gandalf brought me along. I have knowledge of these things.” 

“You don’t take a compliment easily, do you?” Bofur chuckled. 

“Hehe. Yeah, I tend to do that. Sorry and thank you.” 

“Anytime. You know you can talk to me whenever you want… about whatever you want…” 

“Bofur, I…” 

“Nah, it’s okay! No pressure, I’m just saying, I’m here if you need. You can trust me, that’s all I want you to know.” 

“Thanks. It means a lot to me to know I have at least _one_ person on my side.” 

“Ah! I’m pretty sure Dwalin will be on your side starting today! And of course, there’s Thorin. He’s definitely on your side.” 

You laughed out loud at that. 

“Thorin? He can barely stand me!! Perhaps I should examine you, too, you must be losing your mind if you think otherwise!” 

“Laugh all you want, I know my King well. He doesn’t talk much, he never has. But he doesn’t need to, I can tell.” 

You looked over at Thorin. He was hovering over Dwalin, trying to make him comfortable, sincere concern written all over his face. _Perhaps he’s not that bad after all…_ You looked back at Bofur. 

“Well anyway, I’ll go back to check how Dwalin’s doing.” 

Bofur chucked softly and nodded.


	4. Chapter 4

Following the attack on Dwalin, the company had obviously decided to stay where they were until Dwalin was on the mend and it wasn’t a bad place to be after all. There even was a small creek with a waterfall nearby, which would allow you to finally bathe. Well, not only you. It was mostly for them. Those dwarves reeked _badly_! 

In the early hours of the morning, you went to check on Dwalin to make sure fever hadn’t set in. He was still sleeping, so you knelt down beside him and roamed your hands just above his clothes, concentrating on the wound itself before Dwalin opened his eyes. 

“Morning, Dwalin. How are you feeling?” 

“Not bad. Not bad at all surprisingly. Thanks to you, my lady. You seem to have a magic touch!” 

“You were lucky it wasn’t more serious. Let me have a look at you.” 

Opening his shirt, you were reminded how amazingly broad he was. Strong shoulders, chiselled pectorals, and abs covered in thick black hair. He wasn’t unpleasant to look at, come to think of it. Your eyes were dwelling on his features and he noticed. Catching a glimpse of Thorin coming your way, Dwalin put a hand behind his head and smiled at you wickedly. 

“See something you like, my lady?” Dwalin asked, loud enough for Thorin to hear. 

You chuckled at his words. 

“Sounds like you’re feeling better, Dwalin,” you laughed. 

“That I am, my lady. All thanks to your talented hands…” 

Thorin knew full well you didn’t touch Dwalin in _that_ way, but he couldn’t help it. Jealously flared through him, the skin on his neck turning red in an instant. 

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Thorin said, his voice harsher than he had intended. 

“Well honestly, I was kind of enjoying myself with this beautiful healer cuddling me and all…” Dwalin said, all innocent. You could not help but laugh again. 

“This is not the time for your stupid games, Dwalin!!” Thorin shouted, his anger almost out of control. 

“Would you mind going elsewhere to do all that shouting, Thorin?? Dwalin needs his rest to recover from this and you’re not helping,” you said bluntly. 

Thorin was about to answer back, but thought better of it. He just grunted and walked away. You were secretly proud of yourself for shutting him up. Seriously, Dwalin wasn’t doing anything wrong and you were quite used to having men react to you tending to them that way. Dwalin wasn’t your first patient. Guys always seemed to think it was the perfect opportunity to flirt, though you kind of felt like Dwalin was really just joking around. 

You finished tending to Dwalin and went back to the others. Kili and Fili were fooling around with wooden swords, practicing their moves. You saw there the perfect chance to redeem yourself. If you pretended like you didn’t know how to defend yourself, Thorin might go back to that idea he had about you being helpless and he would surely forget your outburst with the dagger. And so you asked Fili to help you out. 

“So Fili, would you mind terribly showing me how to sword fight?” 

His eyebrows shot up in surprise but he said, “Sure. Why do you wish to learn?” 

“Well, after yesterday’s attack on Dwalin, I’d feel more comfortable if I was able to defend myself, if the need should ever arise.” 

“We are here to defend you, my lady. I would gladly fight for you,” Fili said, blushing a bit. 

“That’s very kind of you, Fili. But still, I want to learn. Can you show me?” 

And so Fili started to instruct you in sword fighting. You looked around to make sure you were catching Thorin’s attention. You wanted him to see that you didn’t know how to handle a sword. You were being excessively clumsy about it, too. Perhaps even a bit too much. You weren’t holding the sword right and you were standing like a pole with your legs tightly together, which made Fili laugh out loud at you. 

“Thanks for encouraging me, Fili.” 

“Ahah! Sorry, my lady, but that is not the way to hold a sword, unless you want to get killed, that is.” 

Thorin came to watch you train with Fili. He sat down nearby and studied you. Fili moved around you, standing behind you, and he wrapped both his arms around your shoulders, trying to show you the proper way to hold your sword. He slowly glided his hands on your arms, taking obvious advantage of the situation, which made you smile, and he covered your hands with his. Something stirred in Thorin’s gut when he saw his nephew’s hands on you. His heart started racing, his blood burning hot in his veins. He couldn’t stand seeing him touch you. It was driving him mad with jealousy. But he held it in, and continued to watch as Fili was showing you how to move your feet while holding your sword. Thorin lost all control when Fili brought his lips close to your ear. 

“Hold it straight up. You have to be both gentle and firm with it. You have to love it a bit, you know?” 

“That’s enough Fili!” Thorin snapped. 

But he rapidly calmed down when you turned and looked at him. He was furious but he didn’t want to aggravate you any further, so he paced himself. 

“I showed Fili everything he knows but he’s never used his skills during battle, yet. It is best that you learn from someone who’s seen real action. Here, let me show you.” 

You were surprised by how genuine his offer was. However, this was much more dangerous. He would perhaps notice you had skills with a blade, but you were unable to say no to him, the prospect of having his body so close to yours was too enticing. He moved closer to you, facing you, and when he gently put his rough calloused hand on yours, it sent electric shivers all the way up your arm and into your core. You’d never felt anything like that before and when you looked up in his eyes; you knew he sensed it to. You felt the pull of him, magnetic and intense and you couldn’t escape. His blue eyes bored into yours and the whole world melted away. There was just you and him, and the almost painful heat radiating from where his hand was touching yours. Shaking his head a little, like he was trying to clear his head, trying to will away the feeling, he spoke again. 

“Widen your stance a little. There, good. You need to be on the ready if an assailant should come at you. You need to be ready to step out of the way fast. Now lift your sword like this.” 

He withdrew his hand and you almost whimpered at the loss. Thorin grabbed Kili’s wooden sword, widened his stance and got ready to attack you. He showed you a couple of dodging moves that you copied clumsily. He was good at this, really good. He must be a fierce opponent on the battlefield. You hoped he was believing your act. You practiced for a little while before you started to feign fatigue. 

“Well, you are a force to be reckoned with for sure! Exhausted after only a few minutes of sparring. What would you do if an Orc attacked you, I wonder? Lull him to sleep perhaps?” Thorin laughed. 

That familiar fury you felt whenever Thorin insulted you blazed like wildfire. You dropped your sword to the ground and crouched low on bended knees, opening your arms wide. Thorin looked at you with curiosity, not sure what you were attempting. Before he had time to say another wise remark, you lunged straight at him, your shoulder hitting him right in the belly, wrapping both your arms around him, tackling him. A loud huff escaped his lips at the contact and he stepped back a little. Thorin was startled by the sheer force you were exerting and he started to take tiny backwards steps trying to keep his balance, but failing against the strength of your rage. He backed up a few paces before he slipped on a small rock. The two of you tumbled locked together onto the ground. 

Thorin’s back hit the grass with a loud thud and you fell atop him. At first you weren’t sure what had happened. You were so infuriated, but now you were _very_ aware that you were lying on top of Thorin. You didn’t look up at him right away, your face still buried in his chest. You inhaled that sharp odor of pure maleness. You were incredibly attuned to every muscle of his broad chest, enjoying the feel of his powerful and robust body under yours, sending indescribable waves of pure need coursing through your body. You felt like ripping his clothes off _right now_ and having your way with him. You felt utterly out of control and right before lifting your head to look at him, you heard a deep rumble low in his chest. You knew you were in for an earful. 

You lifted your chin from his chest and looked up at him. You weren’t expecting what you saw then. Thorin had his head thrown back and he was laughing out loud. It was both the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard and the most gorgeous thing you’d ever seen. Thorin. Smiling. Wow. It melted your insides but in a whole other way. Your heart was beating wildly. You felt like climbing up to him and kissing him senseless; you felt like you could spend the entire day lying on him like this, watching him smile. 

Thorin cast his eyes lower, looking at you, still laughing. Your breath caught in your throat. _Breathtaking,_ you thought to yourself. You couldn’t help yourself when your hand reached up to touch his cheek. 

“You’re smiling. You should do that more often, it suits you.” 

He still smiled at you. You let you hand drift and come resting flat on his cheek, gently caressing his beard. Thorin’s eyes widened in surprise, pushing your hand away harshly and getting back to his feet, letting you fall flat to the ground, holding his own hand to his beard, where your hand had been. 

“What? What’s wrong? What did I do again?” 

You got up and turned around only to notice that Fili and Kili also had a look of disbelief on their faces. They looked at you once and promptly left the premises, not wanting to explain what had just happened. You were left there alone like a clueless fool. 

Standing up again, you went over to Bofur to demand an explanation. 

“Wow, who stepped on your toes?” said Bofur. 

“Is it that apparent?” 

“Well, I can tell you’re pissed. What happened?” 

“I don’t have the slightest idea!!” you shouted. 

“Okay, calm down. Tell me what’s going on.” 

“I was just sparring with Thorin, you know, learning and practicing. He insulted me, _again_ , so I tackled him to the ground…” 

“You tackled Thorin to the ground? Hahaha, I would have loved to witness that scene. Good for you!”

“Thanks!” you smiled proudly. “After we fell on each other, he started laughing. I could hardly believe he was even able to laugh. And I just commented that he should smile more often, that’s all!” 

“You fell on each other.” 

“Yes.” 

“You. On top of Thorin.” 

“Yes, why?”

“How did that make you feel?” 

“What??? That’s besides the point…” 

“Yes, but still I’m curious. How did it make you feel?” 

“Well, if you must know, I felt… I don’t know… I… didn’t feel anything.” 

“You know you’re a very bad liar…” 

“Bofur, please…” 

“What? I’m innocent here. I’m just asking a question. I would think that, from the way you’ve been looking at him and those dreams you seem to be having every night, that you might just enjoy being so close to him.” 

“Shit. You heard me again? Last night? I have to be more careful… it’s just…” 

“I know. I know. Getting close to Thorin is not easy. You’ll need to be very patient with him.” 

“How can I be patient with him when he keeps snapping at me for random reasons that I don’t understand?? Like he did just now!!” 

“Okay, so hold on. You fell on him and it made him laugh, which is good. Then you kind of paid him a compliment and it pissed him off? You sure you didn’t say anything else?” 

“No, I swear to you! I just put my hand to his face and said that he should smile more often.” 

“You did, _what_?” 

“I just caressed his cheek!! It was all very chaste!” 

“You touched his beard, didn’t you?” 

“Well, yes. Thorin has a beard so if I touched his cheek, it was inevitable, don’t you think?” 

Bofur started laughing so hard; he fell off the rock he was sitting on. He then explained to you that touching a dwarf’s beard was a very, _very_ , intimate thing to do. More than kissing actually. It was a sign of affection but also a sign of love, which is probably the reason why Thorin reacted as he did. For some reason, though you now understood what happened, you felt hurt that he would withdraw from you like that. Of course, you were only a mere human and you knew that dwarves didn’t mingle much with others that were not of their race. But still… sometimes when you looked at him, you let yourself believe that he was perhaps a little interested in you. But this horrified reaction he’d had put that fantasy to rest. 

“Well, now I see.” 

“I’m not quite sure you do, actually.” 

“Nah, it’s fine, Bofur. Really it’s crystal clear. He doesn’t want to have anything to do with me.” 

“Hum, yeah, you’re not understanding this at all. It’s not that he doesn’t want you. I’m pretty sure he wants you so much it’s driving him completely insane not to have you. Thorin’s reaction wasn’t out of repulsion, but rather out of fear.” 

“Why would he fear me?” 

“Well it’s not you per se… it’s the idea of you. You’re a female from the world of Men; he’s a dwarven King to be.” 

“Oh, I see. You’re right. Well, it’s probably just a fluke on my part anyway, right?  I can barely stand him, so this will blow over eventually. I’ll leave him alone, he’ll leave me alone, we’ll find a nice place for all of you to settle, and then I’ll just go back home.” 

Bofur sighed loudly, shaking his head from side to side. 

“You are one stubborn woman. It’s funny actually, you’re just like him…”


	5. Chapter 5

_Why the fuck did I have to touch his beard_?! Of all things, why his stupid beard?? You couldn’t get over how inappropriate of you it had been to touch him in the first place. You were supposed to keep a low profile, be the nice healer to help them on their quest to find a home and then go back to your village, no questions asked. Instead, you were developing disturbingly strong feelings for the Dwarven King. What were you thinking?! 

After talking to Bofur you decided to walk around a bit, though it wasn’t the best idea so soon after the attack. You knew it was dangerous but you had to try and clear your mind a bit. Bofur had suggested you go to the waterfall and bathe. He assured you he would tell everyone to stay away from there so you’d be at peace. 

When you got closer to the waterfall, you knew right away that it was exactly what you needed. Quiet time alone, no one to tell you what to do, no pretending to be someone you were not. Yes, this would do you a lot of good and put things back into perspective. 

There was a narrow hidden path between the rocks that led to a small cave you had to walk through to reach the waterfall and small pond. When you reached the cave, you peeked outside to witness the beautiful landscape. It was a place that looked like it came straight out of a dream; two waterfalls were pouring into a small pond of warm water. What looked like thousands of different flowers, in all shapes and colors, were everywhere. It was beyond picturesque. 

You were about to remove your clothing before walking into that dream, when you heard a noise in the water. It was probably just an animal drinking, but after the sudden attack on Dwalin, you wouldn’t risk it. So you crouched low and moved toward the edge of the cave to have a closer look at the pond. You almost fell back on your ass at the sight before you… 

Thorin was there. His divine body soaked in water to the waist, he was slowly walking toward the waterfall. You swallowed hard, knowing you should just leave, run away actually, but you couldn’t keep your eyes off him. If you thought he was gorgeous before, well, there simply were no words to describe what you were seeing now. You could only see his back now, and it was already too much. He had broad shoulders, his raven-black hair was wet, gently caressing his back, and the hint of a firm buttock was showing. 

When he reached the waterfall, he turned around, and walked backwards lifting his face to the stream before lifting his arms to stroke his hair back. You could see the water dripping down over his outstretched neck and you felt like licking at it. You were staring at him, your mouth hanging open, fierce desire building deep inside your belly. Your blood started to run faster through your veins, like liquid fire; you were burning for him. You had never felt anything so powerful in your life. You could barely keep away from him. 

He took a step forward, closed his eyes and looked up at the sky, enjoying the moment. Water was dripping from his beard, his whole torso glistening in the sunlight. You started licking your lips, your need for him growing out of control. You crawled a little bit closer, hoping he wouldn’t see you. You were wondering what he was thinking about… You, perhaps? Gods, how you wished he was thinking about you… if he wanted you just half as much as you wanted him. No, you just couldn’t think about such things. It would end up driving you completely crazy. 

While you were pondering your obsession with Thorin, he did something that was so incredibly erotic, you almost moaned out loud. His eyes still closed and his chin turned up to the sky, he let one of his hands sink below the water level. At first you weren’t sure what you were seeing, but when he started a stroking motion, swaying his arm up and down and his jaw fell slack. He took a few more steps forward and the water receded just enough so you could see half of his cock. Thorin was fisting himself gloriously slowly, taking his sweet time, stroking gently from root to tip. A maddening shiver ran through your body, heat scorching hot deep inside your belly, wetness pooling between your thighs. This was unbearable. You just felt like running to him, taking that perfect cock of his into your mouth but instead, instead you let your own hand drift down your body, pushing past your underwear. You were thoroughly soaked when you started rubbing slow circles over your engorged clit, your eyes never leaving his flawless form. You knew this was wrong, but this was stronger than your will, stronger than anything. You were transfixed by him, entranced by his beauty, his sensuality. But even more than this, you felt drawn to him in a powerful way that was beyond lust. The first time you felt this was when you fell on top of him and you saw him smile at you. It tugged at your heart when you recalled his smile. _You_ were the one that made him smile. You never _ever_ wanted anybody else to make him smile, beside you. And you wanted him never to smile at anyone but you like that. 

The more time you spent with him, the narrower your world was becoming, leaving room for him, and him alone. It was getting out of hand; it was getting dangerous for you. While you were daydreaming about the wrongness, or goodness of all this, Thorin had opened his eyes again. He saw you. He was staring right at you, with no shame, with no doubt. You stopped touching yourself the moment your eyes met his, feeling like a voyeur and not sure of how he would react to you being there. He held your gaze, increasing his rhythm, pumping his shaft intensely. You could hardly breathe. Thorin’s other hand dipped below the water and he increased his speed again rocking his hips forward seductively, still looking at you and he muttered something then… You couldn’t hear it from the roar of the stream falling but watching his lips, you could almost make it out. Your name? Did he just say your name while jerking off right in front of you? Recognition reached your eyes and Thorin saw your expression change and he nodded slightly, confirming what you had heard before spilling his hot cum all over his fist. This time you moaned out loud at the sight, pressing your thighs tightly together, almost coming yourself. You shut your eyes, trying to control the powerful urge to go to him and when you opened your eyes again, he was gone. 

*** 

You had tried to relieve some of the discomfort at the waterfall before joining the others again, but you felt so odd after this secret encounter with Thorin that even though you finger-fucked yourself madly, you were unable to come. Guilt was eating at you. You watched him. He was right there, inches away from you, masturbating for you and you didn’t go to him. You didn’t do it because you didn’t want to admit your feelings for him and because you were convinced he didn’t have any for you. What you saw meant nothing. Men, dwarves whatever, they did this regularly; it didn’t imply feelings at all. At least not always. Maybe. Anyway… 

You walked straight to Bofur when you reached the camp. 

“You did this on purpose, didn’t you?”

“What in Durin’s name are you talking about?” 

“You know perfectly well! Thorin!! He was there at the waterfall… he was…”

“He was…?” 

You just stared at him frankly.

“Oh, he was, was he?” 

“Yeah, ‘oh’ is right. He stared right at me, you know. He knew I was there.” 

“Really? That’s good. Maybe he’s coming to terms with his feelings for you then.” 

“That was in no way related to ‘feelings’, believe me!” 

“Don’t judge him so harshly, my lady! There are many things you don’t know about dwarves…” 

*** 

Meanwhile, not far away, Dwalin was slowly starting to walk around a little, trying to get his bearings after a couple of days of rest. Thorin went to him and grabbed him by the arm to pull him away from the group. 

“Okay, what’s happened now? More beard touching?” 

“Very funny. No. I was at the waterfall taking a bath.” 

“Okay…” 

“She was there.” 

“You bathed with her??” 

“No, idiot. She was there, watching me.” 

“Oh! I see. What did you do?” 

“That’s the thing… I didn’t notice her right away… it was right after she fell on me… after she touched me…” 

“Oh-oh… Don’t tell me, were you…” 

“Yes! Alright? Yes, I fucking was! I couldn’t stand it anymore!” 

“And she saw you, I mean she saw what you were… doing?” 

“Yeah.” 

“How did she react?” 

“What do you think? Her fucking jaw dropped!” 

“Hum, yes of course… so, hum, you stopped then, when you noticed her, right?” 

“…” 

“Thorin?? You stopped right? You wouldn’t want to give her the wrong impression, right?

Thorin, listen. I’ve known you for a long time. I know you’re one stubborn dwarf but seriously, you have to stop being such a jerk. You have feelings for her and she obviously has feelings for you, too. You guys can barely keep your eyes off each other! Don’t mess this up. Now tell me you stopped when you saw her. 

“I didn’t stop. I stared at her,” Thorin said, hanging his head. 

“For Durin’s sake Thorin!! Why would you do such a thing?” 

“I don’t know, alright! I couldn’t help it.” 

You heard arguing not far away and it piqued your curiosity, so you carefully walked closer to listen in on the conversation. You noticed it was Thorin and Dwalin, and you were wondering if they were talking about what had happened at the waterfall. 

“I don’t know, alright! I couldn’t help it. She was just staring at me and I was well on my way by then. I… wanted her to see. She’s a fucking pain in my side, Dwalin. I wanted her to see what she did to me so the message would be clear! I fisted myself until I came and I was looking straight at her.” 

“Unbelievable, just really, unbelievable! She wants you, you know that, right?”

“Yeah, she wants me alright, staring at me like that. What else is new, every female I met wants a piece of the Durin heirs.” 

“That’s not what I mean, Thorin and you know it! This one, she has feelings for you.” 

“She’s just like all the others, Dwalin. Don’t be fooled. She pretends, but I know her game she’s hiding something, I can feel it. She’s gonna seduce me, like all the others… I won’t get tricked again! Maybe I’ll have my way with her, but that’ll be the end of it.” 

Hot stinging tears were dripping down your cheeks when you turned away. You felt dirty and used. How could he be so callous about your feelings for him, how profoundly mean and twisted could he be? You felt like your heart was ripped from your chest when you heard his words.  A mere whore, after the Durin’s legacy, that is all you were to him, nothing more. You dried away your tears, took a deep breath. Your mind was made up. It was one thing to hide your identity to help them out; it was a completely different thing to be treated in such a cavalier manner. You would look in on Dwalin tomorrow morning and then, you would be leaving those awful dwarves behind. You had to admit to yourself you would miss Bofur terribly; he was always so kind to you. But you simply didn’t have it in you to face Thorin again, now that you knew how he felt and what he thought about you. So you got up quietly and went back to join the others. 

“Stop fooling around Thorin, it’s me you’re talking to now. You can’t pretend anymore.” 

“Why the fuck not? It’s unnatural, this…. this attraction I have for her. A human woman. Perhaps if I just keep away from her, it will pass.” 

“That sort of thing doesn’t just pass, Thorin. I know you’ve never felt it before but I have. You’ll catch it soon enough. It’s the second time she’s caused you to get a hard-on after all…” 

“Second time?” 

“Yeah I saw you, in the woods when you argued. She puts up a fight, that one, and you deserved it!” 

“Shit, you saw that, huh. What ever do you mean when you say ‘I’ll catch it soon’?” 

“ _Arukhel_ , Thorin. The need of all needs… it’s nothing like the heat we go through when we get mature enough. It’s worse.” 

“Worse??? You’ve got to be joking. I barely survived my coming of age!” 

“This will be different. It’s a combination and culmination of powerful lust and deep feelings. One goes through _Arukhel_ just once in their life, if they’re lucky. To describe it simply, it’s the heat that comes over you… once you’ve found…” 

“Once you’ve found what, Dwalin? Spit it out at once.” 

“Once you’ve found your One, Thorin.”


	6. Chapter 6

When you went to bed that night, you cried like a baby. It made you angry that he had this effect over you. It’s pissed you off really, that you were reduced to looking like a poor little maiden with her heart broken, but you couldn’t help it. You reached for your handkerchief that night. You had to find a least a little bit of strength to be able to part ways with the company the next morning. 

Running your finger over your family crest, you wondered if it would’ve mattered if he knew. Would they accept you if you revealed your true colors to them? It was madness. You couldn’t let them know. It would put you at risk and the last thing you wanted was to go back to your _‘family’_! You’d prefer to stay here with that Thorin bastard than go back to the ones that held you captive for so long! No, things were better this way. Who were you kidding after all? The dwarven King!! You knew there were only a few dwarven-women but surely, all of them would gladly take Thorin as their mate. Who in their right mind wouldn’t? 

Everyone in the camp was fast asleep when you finally stopped crying. You turned onto your side, still clutching at your handkerchief and you met Bofur’s gaze. He wasn’t sleeping. Had he be watching over you all night? 

“Bofur, why aren’t you sleeping?” you whispered. 

“I couldn’t bring myself to leave you alone in such a state…”  Standing up he walked toward your bedroll and knelt beside you. “Are you alright?” 

“I will be, Bofur. Thank you for being so kind to me…” 

“What do you have there, in your hand?” 

“Ah, it’s nothing really. A family trinket…” 

“Can I have a look?” 

Fear rose through you but Bofur’s eye were so gentle, he was really only trying to help you and the chances he would recognize the symbol were slim to none, so you handed it to him.

“It’s just a small piece of cloth with my family crest. A gift from my father, it means a lot to me.” 

“What an odd looking symbol! I never get used to seeing what craftsmen from your kin come up with!” 

“Yes, I can understand how it can look so foreign to you. Most of dwarven customs are foreign to me, too!” 

“Yeah and you learned about one at least, the hard way! Tell me what happened to put you in such a mood… perhaps another misunderstanding?” 

“Oh, no! No, this time it was clear as day.” 

“Come on, let’s have it. What happened?” 

“I just… I overheard Dwalin and Thorin talking about me. To make a long story short, Thorin thinks I’m into him because he’s the soon to be King. That I am no different than all the others that I’ve tried to seduce him before, that he might have his way with me for the fun of it, but that he doesn’t care for me.” 

“What?! That can’t be right? You sure you heard him right?” 

“Seriously Bofur, I was standing right beside them. I heard right, no doubt. But please, please don’t tell Thorin that I overheard him, okay? I just don’t want him to know.” 

“Aye. Sure, no problem, I won’t tell him. What are you going to do now?” 

“I’m leaving. I can’t bear to look at him anymore, knowing what he thinks. I don’t need the aggravation. I had a good job and good friends back home, so I am going back to that. I will miss you greatly though…” 

“I’ll miss you, too, my lady. But I know there really is no point in arguing with you to stay with us. Watching you crying for a whole night is too much pain for me to bear. I understand why you want to leave us. Now try to sleep a bit, you’ve got a long road ahead of you. Tomorrow when you are ready to go, just let me know. I’ll lure the group away so they don’t notice you leaving.” 

“Thank you, Bofur. I’ll never forget everything you’ve done for me.” 

*** 

When you wake up a few hours later, you had a throbbing headache from all that crying and you hoped you had enough energy to pull off your ‘escape’. You packed your things quietly and hid them behind a large rock next to your pony. Then you went over to Dwalin. Dwarven physiology responded well to your treatment; he had already fully recovered from his wound and Ori would be able to remove his stitches tomorrow or the day after. It put you at ease to know that Dwalin was out of the woods. You wouldn’t have wanted to leave him behind unattended. 

You joined the others for breakfast, trying as hard as you could to avoid Thorin’s gaze when you walked past him. 

“Hum… my lady.” 

Thorin clumsily greeted you, nodding his head awkwardly. You shrugged off his greeting, not even lifting your eyes to look at him, because you knew full well that if you looked into his eyes, you’d lose your resolve. Thorin was left standing there, dumbstruck, not sure what he’d done wrong, _again_. You didn’t turn around to see his reaction so you couldn’t have noticed when he tried to reach for your shoulder but thought better of it and stopped himself, a look of hopelessness on his face. 

You sat down next to Kili and Fili, shaking your head, trying to rid yourself of the intense feeling that was left in you after hearing his deep, sultry voice so close to you. It’s unsettling the effect he can have on you, with his voice alone, and it makes you a little angry that he can still stir these profound feelings in you even now that you know he’s a perfect jerk. 

Trying to focus on something else, you turned your attention to Thorin’s nephews. They were nothing like him. They were so light-hearted and happy and it was soothing to hear them laugh together. You noticed they were both redoing their braids while chatting. You had always been curious as to why dwarfs had braids like that and you always assumed that dwarven-women would braid the hair of the dwarven-men. Not many men of your kin walked around with braids after all. Paying closer attention to the way they were working their fingers in their hair, it became apparent that braiding was a natural talent for them. They weren’t paying the least bit of attention to what they were doing and on top of it, Kili’s braids looked very different from Fili’s. 

“It looks very easy for you guys to braid your hair like that. I wonder, though, why Kili’s braids are different than yours, Fili?” 

“Well, my lady, every dwarf has his own way of braiding his hair… it’s kind of a personal mark if you will. When a dwarf reaches adolescence, he decides on how he wants his braids to be and look like and he keeps them that way all his life. Which ones do you prefer? Come on, be honest now?” 

“Haha. Hummm I must say I prefer Kili’s actually.” 

“AH! Told you I was more popular with the women than you, Fili” 

“Don’t start arguing you two. You’ll get your uncle angry with you again!” 

“Not too sure about that,” said Kili. “He seems off today, hasn’t yelled at us since yesterday. I’m feeling kind of awkward about the whole thing. It’s like he’s not himself.” 

“Well, never mind that! Enjoy the fact that he is leaving you in peace! Now, how about you braid my hair, Kili? I would love to see how it would look on me!” 

Both Fili’s and Kili’s jaws dropped open in shock as they stared at you. 

“Oh-oh… what have I done now? Another mystical dwarven rule I don’t know about? Listen boys, I just want to try the braids. It’s going to be useful for me to have them, too, taking the hair out of my face and eyes so I can work in peace if one of you gets injured again… yes? There is no secret meaning to this. It’s aesthetics after all. I’m a woman. I would like to try to look good even though I am on the road with a bunch of stinky dwarves!!” 

They laughed out loud at that, which seemed to put them a little more at ease with your request. You couldn’t believe how many unspoken rules there were about dwarves and their customs. You never imagined them to be such a complex race. Kili walked over to you but he was being very careful about it, darting his gaze left and right, like he was expecting a Warg to jump on him at any minute. They were just braids for crying out loud!! 

So Kili started to braid your hair on both side of your face while you were chatting with him and Fili. You made a point of trying to lighten the mood, telling them jokes and stories from when you were an adolescent like them. Before long, they seemed to forget whatever it was that was putting them off about braiding your hair and you were all just having fun together. You felt so much better in that moment. Kili’s hands were gentle in your hair, which was quite soothing, and Fili’s constant laughing at your every word made your heart sing a little, remembering better, easier days. 

It all came crashing down the instant you heard Thorin’s voice full of rage. 

“What in Durin’s name do you think you’re doing?” 

You turned your head to look over at Thorin, a brilliant remark on the tip of your tongue but the stare he was giving you and Kili froze the blood in your veins instantly. If you thought you’d seen him angry before, it was _nothing_ compared to this. He had this look of utter contempt on his face, and he was spitting out his words like venom. 

Kili jumped up the second he heard Thorin, stepping away from you and leaving your unfinished braid hanging at the side of your face. 

“Hum, Uncle, I didn’t mean anything by it… really… it’s just…” 

“It’s just what? Who do you think you are, who gave your permission to…” 

“Permission? Who do you think _you_ are?! Do you think you own me or something? _I  asked him_ to braid my hair! He was reluctant at first but…” 

“Reluctant? He should have said no flat out! He knows better than to do this!!” 

“Uncle really, it means nothing, she doesn’t understand…” 

“Shut the fuck up, Kili!” Thorin yelled at the top of his lungs. 

You stood up without thinking and struck Thorin clear across the face. The loud snap sound seemed to echo around all of you. They all turned to look at you, their expressions unreadable except for Thorin’s who had his mouth set in a straight tight line, his hand on his cheek. 

“What the hell’s wrong with you? Kili was only doing what I asked him to do! You’re always ordering everyone around, always angry at something or someone, never happy with anything!! Don’t you see how much your nephews look up to you? Of course not! You’re too busy being self-involved to realize that people around you _love you_ , even though you’re being a complete asshole!” 

You stormed out of there, under Kili’s and Fili’s stunned gaze. You went straight for your pony, giving Bofur a quick nod informing him that it was time for you to leave. He rushed to you, having witnessed the whole scene and grabbed your arm. 

“Wait a minute, you misunderstand…” 

“Yes, I seem to be quite good at that.” 

“Dwarven-women don’t braid their hair themselves, ever. Only a dwarf-male braids a female’s hair… when he claims her as his own…” 

You stilled, speechless. Without turning around to look at Bofur, you whispered 

“Claim as his own…? You mean that by braiding my hair, Kili was claiming ownership over me?” 

“Well, it’s usually how it goes, yes. The union of the partners is usually… well… consummated before, and then the dwarf braids his mate’s hair to show everyone she is now his. That’s why Kili was hesitant, but when he noticed you didn’t know the meaning of what you were asking, he proceeded anyway, against his better judgment.” 

“Oh, shit… I put him in an awkward position by asking this of him.” 

“Yes. To say the least. But, still, he understood. But Thorin didn’t.” 

“What does it matter to him anyway if Kili or anybody else claims me or not? It’s not like…” 

“Like he has feelings for you, which would explain why he got so jealous and pissed off about it?” 

You looked over at Thorin. He was still staring at you, his expression unreadable. 

“I can’t do this Bofur. I’m sorry. I really am.” 

You kissed Bofur’s cheek, straddled your pony and looked over your shoulder one last time. Thorin truly was the most magnificent thing you’d ever seen in your life, it was beginning to be painful to even look at him and though you hated him right now, you had to admit to yourself you also loved him deeply. It made no sense, of course. You didn’t understand him. He was rude to you and considered you like a lesser being, but still you couldn’t stop your feelings from growing deeper and deeper every day you were with him. It had to stop before it was too late. So you rode out, convinced this was for the best.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been two months now and you were still crying yourself to sleep almost every night. Your every thought were bent on him during the day and when you could get a few hours of sleep, your dreams and nightmares were of him too. Like a shadow, following your every footstep, he was haunting you. You had been in love before, but you couldn’t compare it to what you were feeling right now. It was like a steel blade, cold and sharp, was stuck permanently in the middle of your chest. You couldn’t breathe properly, couldn’t concentrate, this vivid ache inside you making every day torture. Still, you were back in your town, back to work, trying to keep busy as much as you could. You couldn’t believe it had only been two months when it felt like half of your life had passed you by. Time was passing excruciatingly slowly. Some days you thought you wouldn’t survive to the next. 

*** 

The company had been back on the road for a while now, since Dwalin was ready to travel a few days after you had left them behind. Since then, Thorin had been unusually quiet, mostly hanging by himself, not enjoying anyone’s company, not even Dwalin’s. So one morning Dwalin and Bofur, who each had a different point of view on the matter, decided to team up and confront Thorin. 

“You look like shit.” said Dwalin one morning. 

“Thanks for that, I feel better already,” answered Thorin. 

“Have the shakes started yet? I’ve noticed you are eating less and less. It’s gnawing at you, isn’t it? The dull ache of _arukhel_ is sinking in…” asked Bofur. 

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean…” Thorin replied 

“You’ll have to come to terms with this, Thorin. There’s nothing for it. You can’t stop it from taking you over. It’s going to come, it’s going to be brutal, and you’ll have to go to her,” said Dwalin. 

“It’s nothing like that. I’ve just been a bit under the weather, that’s all. Anyway, she doesn’t want to have anything to do with us. There was a tiny misunderstanding with this whole ‘braiding her hair’ thing, and once your explained it, Bofur, I understood that she could not have known. But really -- leaving us just because of that! It’s an exaggerated reaction if you ask me and I think we’re better off without her. One less thing to worry about.” 

Bofur let a condescending laugh escape him at that. 

“Wow. You really are thick, aren’t you?” said Bofur. 

“Mind your tone, Bofur,” warned Dwalin. 

“You’re in no position to tell me what’s right or wrong, Dwalin!” 

“What have _I_ done?” 

“It’s you both, actually! I got pretty close to her during her time with us. We spoke of many different things, one of which was her feelings for you, Thorin. However, after that little ‘encounter’ at the waterfall...” Thorin winced when he realized Bofur knew about this. “She overheard you two talking… in her own words she said she heard you say that she was basically a Durin’s heir whore, only trying to seduce you, and that she wasn’t anything different from all the others that came before her. How could you say something so harsh and SO untrue?!” 

Thorin’s pained expression was heartbreaking. He looked to Bofur and then to Dwalin, not sure how he was supposed to answer that. 

“She didn’t stay for the whole of our conversation, did she?” said Dwalin. 

“She said she heard enough and when she heard what Thorin really thought of her, she made up her mind to leave us. She just wanted to check on you one last time before she bolted,” said Bofur. 

“Shit! What a mess. Thorin was just fucking around really, still trying to pretend that he didn’t care for her. If only she would’ve stayed for a few more minutes! I forced him to confront his feelings for her then…” 

“How could I have known she was listening in on us?!” said Thorin, bewildered. 

“Listen, Bofur, we’ve got to find a way to fix this. The need is going to wash over Thorin soon enough. It’s taking a bit more time than usual because his One is so far away, but it will come and then… if he doesn’t get to… well… you know what could happen!” 

“Okay… I might have an idea how to turn this around. But we’ll have to be quick about it. The longer we wait, the more time she has to move on.  We leave right now because we’ll have to make a stop before reaching her.” 

“We really should go straight to her, Bofur,” said Thorin uneasily. 

“If you want to do this right, you’ll follow my lead. We need to stop at a blacksmith’s forge first.” 

*** 

Another seemingly endless night came to an end. The sun was rising and it looked like a beautiful warm day out but that warmth didn’t reach your heart anymore. You were like a spirit wondering around your shop, purposeless and hopeless. You dressed yourself and you opened up shop. You had left behind the idea of trying to eat in the morning a few weeks back. It just made you sick to your stomach and it reminded you of the effect he had on you, still. You were about to sit down and indulge in a small cup of tea when someone came knocking at the door. _Well, this days sure is starting early_ , you thought to yourself, _better this way. Perhaps it will go by faster_. 

As you moved toward to door, you felt your skin starting to prickle everywhere and a familiar heat rushed over you. All your senses were suddenly awaken after months of hibernation. You were not sure what was happening to you but you tried to shake it off and you opened the door. You were left standing there, staring ahead, unable to move or speak. Thorin Oakenshield was standing right there, inches away from you. 

Without even lifting his eyes to meet your gaze, he stated in a low, unsure voice: 

“My Lady. I…. I’m s- sorry to disturb you so early. I can o- only hope I didn’t wake you.” 

“It’s not like I sleep anyway. What can I do for you, Thorin?” you answered him in a dull voice. 

The coldness of your tone had Thorin wincing visibly and he took a step back. You regretted talking to him that way the instant the words left your mouth. You were so confused right now. You didn’t want to see his arrogant face but then you lifted your eyes to look at him. You felt weak in the knees and you just wanted to take him into a tight unending embrace and… 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.” and Thorin turned to leave. 

“No, Thorin, don’t go! I’m sorry. This is no way to greet a guest. My apologies, do come in.” 

Thorin hesitated on the doorstep but then finally walked in, his head still hanging. 

“I won’t take too much of your time, my lady. I just… I c-came to… Oh, for Durin’s sake, I can’t do this!!” he exclaimed, shaking his head and almost walking back out. 

“What’s wrong, Thorin?  Please calm down. I know we don’t get along so well but just say what you have to say. I promise I won’t interrupt you.” 

“It’s just… I mean don’t be angry with Bofur, okay? He just wants to help and…” 

“What has he said to you?” you let out a little exasperated. 

“You said you would let me finish. He cares for you a lot. He told me what happened, that you… overheard Dwalin and I talking.” 

A furious blush came over your face. You couldn’t believe your ears, but still you kept quiet. 

“I was rude. I was really just messing around with Dwalin and our conversation finished on a whole different note, if only you would’ve stayed a bit longer…” 

“On what different note?” 

“What?” 

“You said it ended on a different note. What did you say after?” 

“Hmm… it’s Dwalin really… he wanted me to… I don’t remember very well…” 

“Of course you don’t. If that’s all, Thorin, I’d appreciate it if you left me alone so I could start my day,” you said, trying not to be too affected by how vulnerable Thorin looked in that moment. 

“Of course. I’ll be on my way, this was indeed, a bad idea. I-I just have… huh… t-this for you.” 

Thorin handed you a small piece of cloth that contained something heavier inside it. You looked at him questioningly and for the first time since he arrived, he looked up at you. I sharp pang pierced your heart then. He looked desperate and hopeful all at once, his deep blue eyes pleading you, pleading you for something, though you did not know for what. You swallowed hard and looked down at your hands to unfold the cloth. Your head snapped back up sharply. 

“Where… how… where did you find this?” your voice only a tiny whisper as you looked on at the pendant in your hands with amazement. 

“Hum, well, I just… I actually found it at a shop near the entrance of your city… It’s nothing really, a small trinket I just wanted to apologize.” 

“A small trinket…” you pondered. “Thorin, do you know what this is? It is my family emblem, my family crest. It is very sacred. There is no way you could have found this in a shop in the city, I don’t understand where you could have found this. Nothing like this has ever been forged…” and then comprehension dawned on you. Your eyes softened instantly and you couldn’t help but take a step forward, getting closer to him. 

“You’re a blacksmith, yes?” 

“Hum… y-yes my lady.” 

“Bofur told you about my handkerchief, didn’t he. Thorin, did you forge this for me, with your own hands?” There was undeniable awe in your voice as you came to realize what he had done for you. As you examined the artwork in your hands you couldn’t believe it. It was the most beautiful and thoughtful gift you’d ever received in your life. The symbol was forged in a delicate metal you’d never seen and a fine leather lace was running through a ring at the top of the symbol, so you could wear it around your neck. The time it most have taken him to do this, the mere fact that he thought to do this for you. 

“That I did, my lady. I just felt… so…” 

You briskly took a step forward and pressed a finger over his lips, shushing him in the process and causing Thorin’s breath to hitch at the contact, his eyes growing wide. The same powerful and indescribable feeling that came over you when you fell atop him crept back into your body. You took your finger away, slowly and gently, before lightly kissing him on the cheek, careful to avoid touching his beard too much. When the softness of your lips touched the hot roughness of his skin, it sent electric pulses throughout your body and you almost whimpered. You wanted to stay there, this close, smelling him, touching him, and tasting him. You wanted more, you wanted it all. When you reluctantly moved away, Thorin was staring at you, his eyes darker than you had ever seen them before. It almost scared you but it also ignited an intense inferno deep inside your belly. You wanted him, all of him. So much it was hurting you just to look at him. You took another careful step forward without thinking, wanting nothing more than to kiss him full on the mouth, your breaths mingling together, hot and wet, but you saw the hesitation in his eyes. Thorin brought his shaking hands at the level of your shoulders, wanting perhaps to push you away, but he seemed unable to touch you. 

“Please, don’t.” 

“Oh! I’m…. sorry! I… I don’t know what came over me… I just… thank you for the gift.” 

You turned on your heels, blushing furiously, when you felt his hand on your forearm. You looked back at him. He was staring at the place where his hand was touching your skin, his breathing was quite hard, his chest heaving up and down, and the heat… the heat coming off his hand was almost too much to bear. What was this? This intense energy between you two, there were no words to explain it. The air became thick and moist around you, so you could hardly breathe, the air burning your lungs. A dull ache was starting to build in your core, wetness pouring between your legs. You felt overcome by an intense feeling of lust, pure desire, raw and all-consuming, and you were quite certain you could die from the force of it all, if he didn’t touch you more, right this instant. 

Thorin’s gaze moved up your arm, slowly, caressing every inch of your skin as if it were his mouth on you, driving you mad, up your shoulder, up your neck, over your parted lips and then he licked his lips lavishly before his penetrating gaze met yours. Your heart was beating so fast, you could hear it thumping in your ears. Thorin looked like he was very very close to losing all of his tightly held control, but he took a deep steadying breath before taking a hesitant step toward you. 

“I can’t be near you when I’m in that state. It’s too much… too powerful…” 

“But I… I don’t want you to go.” You finally admitted to him and to yourself. 

“You don’t know what you are saying. The implications of this…” 

You took another step toward him and you tried to swing both your arms around his neck to bring him into an embrace, but Thorin sharply grasped your other forearm in his strong hand, stopping you short. You almost yelped when he did, his grip on you so tight it was almost painful. But still, your need for him was overpowering everything else so you still leaned in bringing your lips dangerously close to his. 

“Thorin… please…” you breathed, which pulled a strangled moan from his throat and he shut his eyes tight, trying to keep his need at bay. 

“I can’t!!” He forcefully pushed you away. You fell back on the floor, in shock, while Thorin made his rapid escape through the door, leaving it open in his wake and you could see a very surprised Bofur staring back at you from the other side of the door.


	8. Chapter 8

You weren’t quite sure what had just happened when Bofur came walking in. You were still on your bum on the floor, staring at the open door. 

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” 

“What? No, no, of course not. What’s the big concern with hurting me here? And what are you doing here anyway?” 

“I’m just here to help you guys come to terms with this whole situation. There was no way Thorin could pull this off on his own!” 

“Pull what off? What’s going on?” 

“I think it’s best Thorin explains this himself, though it might be very hard for him to do it. He’s going through ‘the need of all needs’, what we call _Arukhel_ in our language, Khuzdul. I think it must have started as soon as he laid eyes on you and it won’t end until he can well… consummate his… ah… need, if you know what I mean?” 

“So it’s merely a physical thing then?” 

“Durin no! Quite the opposite actually! Every dwarf feels it differently. That’s why he must be the one talking to you about this. However, one thing remains the same for all: you only feel this powerful urge when you have found your One. You are Thorin’s One. And if you don’t find a way to make him confess his love for you before _Arukhel_ is over, all his feelings will dissipate and he’ll never be able to be with you, or anyone else, for the rest of his days.” 

“Surely I can’t force him to confess something he perhaps doesn’t feel!”

“If he’s going through this right now, it’s because he does feel it. When the time comes, you’ll know… If he calls you _Âzyungal_ , then it is done.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“’My lover and love.” 

“How am I suppose to know what to do or when to do it?” 

“Thorin will lead you, don’t worry. But it’s going to be brutally painful for him. It’s a very powerful, barely containable lust he is feeling for you right now.” 

“Ok. Now you are starting to scare me…” 

“I don’t know if you can take it all, this is to be decided between the two of you.” 

“Can I ask you one more thing? I’d like to learn a word, in Khuzdul, just in case he does end up confessing…” 

*** 

It had been a whole lot to take in at the same time. You were Thorin’s One? Your heart almost stopped at the thought. You felt the same about him, no doubt there. But this _Arukhel_ business, it sounded, well… frightening. Why was Thorin so scared of “hurting” you? What is it that he expected from you? 

Bofur had talked to Thorin a bit, calming him down only slightly before sending him back to your shop. When Thorin walked in, he looked like he was on the verge of collapse. His gait was slow and heavy, each step seemed taxing, he was breathing louder than usual, and he had trouble meeting your gaze. He got inside and stood in the corner of the room, as if he feared you. 

“Thorin, are you alright? You seem a bit, well, off.” 

“No, I’m far from alright. I shouldn’t be here. I can’t be near you right now.” 

“Bofur tried to explain what is happening to you a little, but I must confess I’m not sure I understand.” 

“There’s nothing to explain because nothing is going to happen. I shouldn’t have come.” He was about to leave, again, when you grabbed his hand in yours. He stood there, like a stone statue, not moving, barely breathing, and his back to you. 

“Please, I don’t mean to be rude, but please don’t touch me.” 

“Why? Tell me, Thorin, tell me why I d-…” 

“Can’t you see what you’re doing to me?” Thorin shouted out loud, which made you take a step back from him. 

He freed himself from your grasp and rushed toward you, grabbing both your shoulders with his hands, tightening them around you like iron fists. He was holding you so hard it bordered on painful but you didn’t say anything. You needed to know what was going on inside him. You needed to know so badly. Finally, he let go of your shoulders; he took in a shaking breath before talking. 

“If you touch me again, I won’t be able to control myself. You’ll unleash something you’ll regret later…” 

“Thorin, I want you to be here. Why would I regret this? You’re talking about yourself as if you were one mindless animal…” 

He chuckled at your words, agreeing with you wordlessly. 

“Why would you think such a thing?” you said. 

He suddenly spun around to face you, his voice rising, dangerously fierce and intense. 

“Because I WANT you!!! I want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my entire life! It’s driving me completely mad, this… this _need_ , this _urge_ , I can’t see straight I want you so much… you’ve invaded my body and soul! And if you touch me again, I’ll claim you. I’ll claim you with all the force of this lust and all the strength in my bones!” 

Your mouth went dry instantly. His desire for you washed over you, knocking you back like a blast of heat from a forge. You wanted him. Desire for him consumed you, but this… this confession of his made you burn for him in ways you didn’t think possible. Your insides were quivering with need. You could feel yourself growing wetter by the second. But your mind whirled with the implications of his words. You knew very well that dwarves were stronger than humans. What could he do to you if he lost control completely? 

“It’s okay. Shush. It’s okay, Thorin…” You tried to focus on what he was saying but it was becoming increasingly hard for you to be in the same room with him without touching him. You couldn’t think of anything else. You were already undressing him with your eyes, something stirring in you, dark and thick with power. 

“No! It’s not!! I’ll hurt you… I’m sure I will. I’ve hurt you easily enough with my words in the past. But this, this is something else. I can’t control it. It’s not even that. I _don’t want_ to control it. I don’t understand how this can be happening. Your kin and mine, they don’t mingle usually. You won’t have the strength to… endure…” 

“I have more strength than you know, Thorin.”

“Not for this. You have no idea the thoughts that are running through my head right now… If I get my hands on you… the things I’ll do to you, the deliciously filthy things I long to do to you…” 

A visible shiver ran through Thorin then and he almost fell down, putting his back to the wall. His words made it hard for you to breathe now. You didn’t care about anything else, not anymore. You wanted him to do whatever he wanted to you. 

“Mahal, this is so brutal…” said Thorin, breathless. 

You walked tentatively over to him. He stood back up, slowly looking up at you, his eyes so dark with need you could scarcely see the blue in them. Staring at him, you delicately brought your hands inside his pelt, trying to undo his belt. He looked panicked then, his eyes darting left and right, looking for a way out. 

“Thorin, I want this. I want you…” you said to him, huskily. 

A loud moan escaped his lips before his mouth crashed onto yours. He grabbed at your neck with both hands holding you still while he ravished your mouth with his lips and tongue. It was so forceful yet so passionate, so Thorin. Breaking the kiss for air, he pushed you slightly away. 

“Wait…. Are you sure?” he said, shaking and visibly holding on desperately to his fading control. 

“I’m sure. I can’t fight this any longer, either.” 

His eyes softened a little at your answer but he still felt he had to explain. 

“When I let go completely, I’ll be out of touch with everything. All my thoughts will be bent on one single thing. But it will be different for you, different than what you know. Men of your kin, well, they don’t have the same needs as we do and they don’t… well… last very long, if you know what I mean.” 

“Sadly, I do.” You laughed a little. 

He smiled wearily at you. “This is not exactly what I mean. Men of your kin, when they find release, they’re done. Not us. Not in this state. When I find release in you,” he shuddered at his own words, “it will only fuel my need even more. I won’t be able to stop.” 

“You mean to say…” Your voice choked with need. 

“What I mean is, I’ll _fuck_ you all night long, until you can take no more, until you beg me to stop and then, I’ll fuck you still until all that is left are your screams echoing into the night.” 

You barely had time to recover from his words when he jumped on you. You could tell then, that Thorin had surrendered to his primal needs. He kissed you deeply, brushing his hard cock on your thigh, making you whimper with anticipation. He was so large and hot against you; you were starting to wonder if he would fit within you, your mouth, your sex, anywhere. He stopped kissing you just long enough to ask “Where’s the bedroom?” and you pointed him in the right direction. He lifted you off your feet and into his arms like you didn’t weigh more than a feather. He threw you over his shoulder and walked rapidly to your room. Once there, he threw you onto the bed. You were too far-gone to care then. Never letting his eyes stray from you, he removed his pelt and, undid his large buckle. He tugged his tunic and shirt over his head, allowing you to see his perfect upper body, and he slowly moved his fingers to undo the ties of his briefs. A hint of a smile softened his lips then, but his eyes were burning even brighter than before. Something hot and untamed was lingering there and you knew you were both the cause and the prize. 

He undid his pants, letting them fall to his feet and revealing his very impressive cock. You swallowed hard at the sight, your mouth salivating, his girth alone sending you shuddering and bucking your hips toward him. He descended upon you like a predator overtaking his prey and your heartbeat quickened in response. You were enthralled by him, unable to move, wanting nothing more than to be overpowered by him. He spread your legs open, kneeling between them before he lowered his whole weight onto you. There was an intense heat coming off him and it caused your desire for him to rise like a waking firedrake. You mewled softy when you felt him over you, covering you like a cloak, separating you from the exterior world so there was only him and you left. When he lowered his head to yours, his dark hair falling on either side of his perfect face like a veil of intimacy, his eyes searching yours for approval, a tiny sob escaped you. You’d never felt this before. In this instant, in this perfect moment, you’d give him the world if only he would tell you he loved you. 

“Thorin, I…” you started whispering but he didn’t let you finish, covering your mouth with his for another passionate kiss. He started rapidly grinding his shaft on your inner thighs and you could tell it wouldn’t be long before he was buried deep inside you. You wanted it all. You didn’t care if he was rough with you if it meant you could have him only to yourself. You made an effort to show him you wanted to roll him over, knowing full well you’d never have enough strength to do it on your own. He complied, rolling onto his side and then his back, bringing you with him. You kissed him again before you started to head down to his neck, running your tongue over and around his Adam’s apple, pulling soft moans out of him, and working your way down still. His chest was broad, soft curly hair covering it. He was the most beautiful, the most erotic being you had ever seen. You wandered lower still, your tongue dragging over his clavicles before flattening over his taunt nipples, making him moan out loud. You reached to his other nipple, giving it the same treatment. Thorin’s hand reached for your hair then, fisting harshly into it. You knew this was taking too long for him. He needed more, he needed more _now_ , and though you were enjoying this sweet torture, you knew there would be more time for it later. So you went all the way down between his thighs and you looked up at him with hungry eyes before slowly lowering your head to his leaking cock. 

He took a sudden breath even before you touched him.

“You don’t have to do this…” a little embarrassed that you would think only of him in such a selfless way. 

“Tell me, Thorin. This _Arukhel_ you feel… Do you feel it for me, and for me alone?” 

“Mahal, YES! You have no idea… I just… there’s only you…” 

“Then let me give you this. Stop thinking, just feel. Feel me. Do you not realize what this means to me? Let me show you.” 

You looked back down at his manhood and blew softly on it, making Thorin whimper, arching his back in desperation. When his back was resting on the bed again, he looked down at you, holding his breath, his features contorted from the effort. You licked your lips lavishly and you ever so slowly pushed the tip of his cock between your lips and into your mouth. Thorin’s head fell back into the mattress and his fist in your hair tightened. The feel of him in your mouth cancelled out any pain. He was so unbelievably hot and smooth and SO large that your lips and mouth were stretched tightly over his girth. You took him all the way into your throat, swallowing around him. 

“Oh _FUCK_!! That’s so good! Oh, Mahal, save my soul!” 

Thorin’s screamed when he felt the movement of your mouth and throat on him before he descended into incoherent mumbling and moaning. 

You started to bob your head up and down his glorious length but you heard him whimper in pain, his other fist clenching at the sheets beside him. Clearly, this was unbearable to him and he couldn’t wait any longer. You lifted your head up, his cock falling out of your mouth with an obscene pop. He looked at you anxiously but you didn’t leave him time to complain. You put your finger into your mouth and you sucked at it hard, running your tongue all around it with your mouth slightly open so he could see what you were doing. 

A loud groan escaped him “You’re so hot like this… I want more, I want all of you.” 

You smiled softly at him, your desire running hot in your veins but trying to focus on him alone. 

“Lift your hips up for me,” you asked and when he complied you put a pillow under his lower back. 

You wet your finger fully before lowering yourself again, taking him back into your wet mouth. Thorin’s head fell back onto the bed. Both your hands attended him, one of them gently massaging his balls while the other one playfully circled Thorin’s tight opening. He understood what you were about to do. 

“Mahal, you can’t be serious. You’ll kill me…” but then the lust inside him took control and he said, his voice rough and husky, “Do it. Just… please… just do it”. 

Pulling away from him a little you ask, “Thorin, let me prepare you a little. It’s going to hurt otherwise.” 

“But I want it to hurt!” 

He was almost screaming and crying at the same time. 

“Just fucking do it, _now_ , please! I can’t take this anymore!!!” 

His plea almost broke your heart. You took him into your mouth again, using one hand to stroke him hard and fast while you sucked him deep into your throat. Your other hand parted his cheeks, before you shoved a finger forcefully and all the way into him. 

“AHHHHHHH!” 

Arching his back and thrusting his hips erratically upward, an animalistic groan tore from Thorin before he spilled hot cum right into the back of your throat. You swallowed the whole of his sticky load greedily, humming your appreciation while Thorin rode out his orgasm into your mouth, still moaning and thrashing above you. He tasted delicious and as soon as you were done cleaning him, you knew you wanted him to come again. On you, in you, however he wanted you. Above all, you wanted to _see_ him coming for you, you wanted him to scream your name when he did. Pushing away from him, you expected to see a look of satisfaction on his features. Instead, you realized he looked more fiercely desperate than before. His cock was still rock hard and throbbing. 

“Thorin, are you alright?” 

“I… yes… I just… Mahal, this is so… I need to catch my breath… I want…” 

and then Thorin took his engorged cock in his hand and started to stroke himself, his eyes shutting tightly, like he was in pain. 

“How can you still be…” 

“I told you… we… we last longer. Thing is…” he tried to explain between shaky breaths, fisting himself faster,“because of _Arukhel_ … when we find release… it just… it just makes it astonishingly more intense… this drive will increase the more we go, until it passes… if it passes…” 

“If?” and you sounded more anxious than intended. 

Thorin looked so distressed, so painfully overcome by his desire, you were left wanting to help but not knowing what exactly you should be doing. 

“Tell me what to do? Tell me what you need, Thorin.” 

“I… need… it’s like a fever, it’s taken over my mind… I can’t…” 

“Just tell me,” you demanded with a harsh tone. Something seemed to break inside of him then, and he looked at you with a daring, commanding stare. 

“I need you. I need to be inside you. Right… _now_. Let me take you; let me take you however I want. I’ll make you wet, I’ll make you whimper. You’ll be so hot for me you won’t be able to say no. I’ll fuck you until you see stars, I’ll make you scream my name when I make you come again, and again, and again.” 

Though you were not one to be easily overtaken, you moaned out loud when you heard him say such things, so dominant, so powerful and you surrendered to it all. You felt yourself letting go of your defenses, letting go of all those pretences, melting into him, surrendering to this carnal desire that overwhelmed you. You finally made peace with the idea that he had absolute control over you; mind and body, you were his and you would always be. 

“Fuck me, Thorin. Take what you need from me, take everything. I am yours.”


	9. Chapter 9

Of course, there was no way this could be true. Ever. You, being his? No… not with what was lurking for you around ever corner, what you had run from in the first place. Something you could never tell him because if you did, well, if you did it would mean the end of both of you. 

However, you were far too gone in the moment for these pesky details to matter. You had just confessed to Thorin that you were all his for the taking. And it didn’t fall on deaf ears. He all but growled at you when you said it, pushing you so you’d fall on your back before he climbed over you again. This time, he wasn’t gentle about it. He was kissing you fiercely, teeth clashing as though he wanted to devour you whole. You could only moan wantonly into each kiss, desperately clawing at him, wanting him to bury himself deep inside of you, wanting for this sharp ache between your legs to subside, even just a little. You feared that nothing would ever be the same after this. You would never ever feel this way about anybody else. If he didn’t admit his love for you… You couldn’t think of such things now; it was too painful, too brutal, too final. 

Thorin all but ripped your clothes away before he started to kiss his way down your warm body, stopping to lick leisurely at your nipples, sending waves of pure pleasure coursing through your body, making you hunger for him even more than before. But he didn’t dwell there long. When he lowered his head between your legs, you gasped and sobbed at the prospect of finally, finally having his mouth on you _there_ , right where you wanted it so badly. Thorin spread your legs wide, hooking both his arms under your bent knees, bringing his hands under your ass, pushing your pelvis up and toward his wanting mouth. He groaned when his prize was within reach of his swollen lips. 

“Mahal… so beautiful… you’re so wet for me already and I haven’t touched you yet… You make me so fucking hard, it’s killing me.” 

And before you had time to reply, his mouth was on you, tasting you. You felt the urgency of his need as his lips and tongue ate at you, driving you insane. His tongue slid deliciously between your needy folds while he spread your opening wider with his thumbs. You started to rock your hips on his face, panting wildly, wanting to increase the contact, his beard scrapping your inner thighs roughly, making you moan loudly. You heard him laugh at your eagerness, his thunderous voice making your insides shake before he plunged his wet tongue straight into your heat, causing you to arch your back sharply, screaming at the delicious intrusion. You couldn’t believe how good it felt, how desperate you were for more, just _more_! Thorin sensed this and, unhooking his arm from under your leg, he brought his hand between your legs. 

“You want this, too… _so much_ … You want my fingers inside you, don't you? Stretching you open, getting you ready to take all of me?” 

“Fuck, so much, Thorin! Please, please just touch me, please!” 

Without a moment’s hesitation, he slowly drove one finger deep inside you. Your insides started to convulse around him. Seeing you were ready for more, Thorin slipped another finger right into you. You bucked your hips wildly. 

“Thorin… Thorin… move, please move, I’m gonna come so hard!” 

“You beg so prettily…” he whispered before he started finger-fucking you fast. 

Every so often, he would slow his rhythm and scissor his fingers inside you, preparing you for what was to come. You knew you were on the brink. Your hips thrust faster, meeting his fingers as your pleasure built and built. When he brought his mouth back to your eager cunt, flicking his tongue rapidly over your clit, pumping his fingers in and out of you faster, your orgasm exploded deep inside your core and you screamed out loud in bliss. Thorin almost lost control then. He stepped back and away from the bed fast, resting his head on the nearby wall, shaking violently. Out of breathe and still overwhelmed, you looked at him with worry. 

“Thorin, what is it? What’s wrong?” 

He half turned to look at you. His eyes were black with desire. He looked feverish and dazed. His whole body was covered by a thin sheen of sweat. He was holding on for dear life and you knew it. 

“It’s just… give me a minute… It’s so strong… I can’t think straight… I can’t…I just want to _fuck_ you _so badly_ right now,” he said through clenched teeth, his face wincing, his voice dark and menacing. 

He took his rock-hard erection in hand again, and he fisted himself from root to tip. You could see the beads of precum forming there. You knew he was close, and still, he was trying to remain in control, for you. Pushing through the thick haze of lust clouding his mind, he took a profound breath and tried talking again. 

“I can’t hold on anymore, I can’t… I can’t control it, I-I’m slipping… Ride me.” 

“W- what…?” Your voice was the tiniest of whispers; you barely heard yourself respond. 

You looked at him in awe that he would ask this of you, knowing full well he just wanted to take control of this love-making and take you fast and hard. 

You stood up and walked toward him, forcing him to face you. He turned to you; scarcely able to lift his head and meet your gaze. Cupping his chin, you lifted his head. Tears had begun to form in his eyes with the effort of holding the beast inside at bay, so terribly scared he was of hurting you still, that your heart swelled up with infinite love for him. You pushed him onto the bed and straddled him. You took his engorged cock and placed it right at your entrance. 

“Your release is near, my love. Let me give it to you,” you told him, staring into his eyes. 

“W-what… what did you c-call m…” 

But he didn’t have time to finish his question as you excruciatingly slowly lowered yourself onto his large shaft. You threw your head back when the tip of him breached your folds, stretching you lusciously, and you moaned his name. Thorin grabbed at your hips forcefully. You knew his hands would leave bruises, but you didn’t care. He was helping you to take all of him in, before he could start moving, his patience and control a force of nature you couldn’t quite understand. When you finally took all of him, you were grateful he took time to prepare you for it. His girth stretched you wide causing a delightful mix of pain-pleasure. When your hips settled straight onto him, you looked back down at him. He was panting hard, looking at you from behind half-hooded eyes, beads of sweat all over his gorgeous face and chest, his cheeks flushed. You gave him a slight nod and you started slowly lifting your hips back up, halfway only to start with, before you pushed back down onto him. 

Thorin gritted his teeth, baring them to you, which was one of the most erotic things you’d ever seen, before he growled a loud “FUCK!” 

You did it again and his grip on your hips tightened. He shut his eyes. You pounced on him again, and again, and then he rammed your hips down harder, snapping his own hips up, meeting you thrust for thrust and you knew this would all be over soon. Thorin was moaning and groaning, gripping you, trying to bring you closer to him still. He wanted to be deeper, nudging your heart if he could. You started to tilt your pelvis backwards when you came crashing down on him. Adding that slight movement made you see sparks of white light, your sensitive clit grinding into the coarse hair at the base of his cock and causing his erection to press sharply against _that_ sweet spot inside. 

“AHHHH! Shit, I’m so close, Thorin, so close… come on, give me more.” 

“Everything. Anything…” he breathed. “I’ll give you anything you want…” and he increased his rhythm, pounding into you hard and deep, letting his lust take over completely. You came again, screaming out his name and continuing to ride him hard as your inner walls clenched tightly around him. 

“Ah fuck! You’re so tight! So fucking tight… I’m gonna c…” and he came into you violently, his mouth opened in a silent “ah” as his hot cum spurted deep inside you, marking you, claiming you. 

Lost in this perfect moment, you kept riding him hard. Thorin looked at you, a question in his eyes, and you were helpless, unable to stop, unable to slow down, your need to come again so visceral, you couldn’t explain it. 

“I can’t… stop… can’t stop. I want you so damn much. I need more, please. I can’t…” 

Trying to catch his breath, Thorin asked, “Are you feeling like you have the energy to go on forever riding me? Like feeling the way you feel when you come around me is just barely scratching the surface of what it could be like, if I fucked you fast, hard, and sooo deep?” 

“Yes… yes, that’s what I want. Deeper inside, faster. Thorin, stop holding back, just take me. Fuck, take me now!” 

“This is unheard of, I think… you’ve caught it, too…” 

“I caught what?” you asked, desperate and still riding Thorin, feeling another orgasm building rapidly. 

“The need of all needs. Only dwarves can get it, but it seems you’ve caught my fever. Which can only mean…” 

“SHUT UP, Thorin!! Fuck me now! Hammer into me with all your might; I want it, all of it. I want it. I fucking _need_ it!” 

Thorin smirked wolfishly; hunger filling his gut at the naked want in your eyes. Lifting you off of him and laying you on your back again, he didn’t wait a second before burying his cock back into your tight opening in one powerful thrust. You gasped at the sudden intrusion, but you didn’t have time to complain as Thorin started to build a punishing rhythm, nailing into you viciously, primal moans escaping his parted lips. The sound only aroused you more. You were beyond craving, beyond thought as Thorin unleashed the full force of his lust on you at last. Time stood still then. All you could hear was the sound of wet skin slapping on wet skin, eager wailing and desperate moaning as you stared in each other’s eyes. Was he about to rip you in half from the sheer force of his thrusts into you? Tears started to roll down your cheeks as your eyes fluttered shut, enjoying the pain as much as the intense pleasure. 

“Don’t stop! Don’t ever stop! Give it to me… give me all you’ve got!” you sobbed overwhelmed, all your emotions colliding and so close to coming. 

“D-don’t be scared… don’t be scared. Y-you were… made for me. It’s always been you… Ohhh, Mahal this is soooo fucking good. So perfect. FUCK, I’M COMING AGAIN!” said Thorin. 

He pounded into you a few more times, his hips like a relentless piston. He reached between his body and yours, finding your clit within your wet and swollen folds, and gave it a firm push. You came brutally, arching your back so all your weight was on your head, clawing at his hips so hard, you drew blood with your nails, chanting his name over and over as you rode out your orgasm, feeling him still hard as he gently slipped out of you, a thick streak of his semen dripping out of your entrance. You whimpered when he left you, your skin oversensitive and raw from the intensity of this encounter. On the brink of fainting, you warily looked down at him. His eyes were definitely brighter and somewhat calmer, but Thorin was sitting down, and he was still stroking his glistening cock.

You winced a little when you realized this wasn’t over; how much more of this could you take, you wondered? 

Thorin looked at you and then down at his member, a little embarrassed. 

“I told you this would be too much for you. Dawn will soon break, but I believe I still have another round left in me before this passes. One other round, at least…” he said, panting, his eyes running over your naked body hungrily before he crawled over you again. 

Still out of breath you watched him approach you, a half-smile dancing on his lips and the promise of more blissful torture to come shining in his blue eyes. He looked savagely gorgeous and absolutely feral like this, inching over you like a starving predator, smirking wolfishly. Your body hummed with the proximity of his. Your bodies were magnets of opposite poles, drawn to each other uncontrollably, inevitably. 

All of your deepest lustful needs surfaced again as his hand ran up one of your legs tentatively. Gooseflesh erupted under his burning touch, and your eyes fluttered shut, your breath coming a little faster in anticipation. Thorin brought his hand between your legs and carefully avoided your oversensitive flesh, instead running his finger lower still along your cleft and finding your puckered hole. You yelped at the contact but soon realized how slick and wet you were down there, yours and Thorin’s juices having thoroughly coated you. You moaned softly and pushed your hips down onto the exploring finger, showing Thorin just how much you still needed his touch. Gently and effortlessly, Thorin pushed his thick finger inside your heat, growling at how easily you took him in. 

“Ma-hal… you’re relentless. You want this, don’t you?”


	10. Chapter 10

Thorin could scarcely believe you wanted more and it only served to rekindle his fervent desire for you. Trying to keep is control in check; he slowly turned you over on your belly to have a better access. Foreseeing what was the come, you tucked your knees under yourself while spreading your thighs open for him. 

“By the stars, you are going to be the end of me! So eager, so willing…” Thorin said in awe before resuming his ministrations to your hole. 

The wetness he found there allowed him to push his finger back in easily, drawing an arousing mewl from you before he slowly thrust it in and out of you, spreading the juices there, prepping you for more. You shivered with need, and it encouraged him to introduce a second finger into you, making you whimper and beg. With his other hand, he spread your ass cheek to create more space for him to lower his face to your needy entrance. 

When he licked delicately at the outer rim of your hole with his hot tongue, still thrusting and scissoring two fingers inside of you, you cried out loud. 

“Oh! Oooooh! I need you inside me! Thorin, please! I need your cock inside me now!” 

“You’re so irresistible when you are begging me to fuck you like this… Mahal… this is going to be so good. You look so fucking tight down there… I’ll stretch you wide and you’ll scream for more.” 

Without a moment’s hesitation Thorin removed his fingers from you carefully and, taking his engorged member in hand and placed the swollen tip at your entrance and pushed in right away, your heat engulfing his cockhead painlessly. An animalistic growl came from deep within Thorin’s chest as he felt your passage quiver around his shaft, sending electric waves of pleasure through his body. You moaned your appreciation, your head lolling forward at the intrusion, and the heavenly sensation of having him back in you overwhelming. 

Thorin stayed still inside you for what seemed like an eternity before he started to thrust slowly, deeply. He didn’t pull all the way back, but he still started to build a fast rhythm, his ballsack hitting your slick folds with a sinful wet slap each time he filled you. The extra stimulation made you moan louder, increasing your pleasure tenfold, making you arch your back and slam your hips hard on the thick rod inside you. 

“So incredibly hot, so taut and stretched,” Thorin mumbled, utterly lost in sensation, taking you like it was the very first time, giving you all he had. 

Reaching over your hips, Thorin gently lowered one hand between your legs and ran gentle circles over your sensitive clit. 

“THORIN!!! That’s it, right there! Gods, yes, just like that… you’re so good at this, so good! Keep going, fuck me hard…”

So Thorin grabbed onto your hip tighter, still stimulating your engorged nub, and increased his pounding into you. You could feel him getting even harder and larger inside you and you knew he was close. You concentrated all your energy on tightening around him, rolling your hips to meet his thrusts harder still, clawing furiously at the bed sheets, falling over, your face hitting the mattress with the sheer force of his thrusts, while you kept on telling him to _go faster, deeper Thorin, just like that, fuck yes!!_ And he obliged. 

“You take it so beautifully, I just want to ravish you endlessly…” he said, panting, increasing his punishing rhythm and you couldn’t help but start begging for more, your release building dangerously. 

“Yes… yes my _Love_. Always,” you let out, breathless. 

And suddenly Thorin’s rhythm became erratic but it wasn’t because he was nearing completion, it was something else entirely. Your words unsettled him and shook him to the core, a powerful and surrounding feeling rising deep within his chest, twisting his insides with angst. His breathing was already laboured but now his head was starting to spin. But he was so lost inside you that he didn’t find the strength to stop or dwell on what was happening to him. Or so he thought. Shutting his eyes tight, he tried to concentrate only on the tight coil in his gut that was just about to snap. He increased the speed of his finger on your clit and made you come with a sharp cry before putting his hand back on your hips, and tilting your hips upward, getting more leverage and a better angle to hammer deep into you until he found his release. 

Although hunger was filling his gut and he keep thrashing into you at the frantic pace, his orgasm still eluded him. His release was teetering near the edge, but he kept feeling like he needed a little more to reach completion, even though your heat was scorching hot and you kept squeezing him tighter with the aftermath of your orgasm. 

Something was nagging at the back of his mind, which prevented him from concentrating. He felt like you were too far away from him, like he needed your heat on his skin, everywhere. He started grabbing at your hips frenetically, bending over and covering your back with his torso, kissing at your neck all the while nailing you. He couldn’t stop hearing your last words, like a never-ending echo in his mind. _Yes… yes my Love. Always._ He winced from the recall, the same terrible ache clenching inside his chest, before he was overwhelmed by an unknown fear. 

You were so caught up in the pleasure of it all that you didn’t notice Thorin was having trouble. Which is why you were left feeling shocked when Thorin suddenly pulled out of you, without warning. You turned your head sharply, intent on asking him just what the heck he was doing, but the look on his face stopped your short. 

“Thorin what is it? You’re as pale as the sheets!”

 He looked up at you, fear and confusion mixed in his eyes, but he didn’t answer you. You got up and tried to reach for him, to comfort him or reassure him, you weren’t quite sure, but he shied away from your touch, pushing your hand aside and taking a step back from you. Your heart almost broke on the spot. This is exactly what you had feared all along. The _Arukhel_ had passed and he didn’t declare his feelings for you, so his lust and need for you were all but gone too. You had missed your opportunity to be happy with this dwarf for the rest of your life and you knew full well, there was no coming back from this. You would never love anyone else the way your loved him, of that you were convinced. Gathering your wits and trying desperately not to fall apart crying, you tried to get him to talk. 

“Please tell me what’s wrong Thorin… a- are you still afraid you’ll hurt me?” 

He looked up at you and you could see he was shaking violently. When he half turned toward you, you realised he was still incredibly hard. Perhaps there was still some hope then? But he wouldn’t answer you and when you tried to get closer to him still, his facial expression grew angry and you were startled by his reaction. 

Thorin couldn’t fathom what was happening to him. His head was spinning and he had trouble breathing. When he looked at you, those terrible feelings increased tenfold. But at the same time, he still wanted to be buried deep inside you, he wanted to make you come all night, screaming his name but… no, it was something else he needed. He couldn’t form the words, Durin’s beard he couldn’t even breathe properly! He wanted to tell you, but tell you what? It made him furious to feel like this, the all-powerful-always-in-control Thorin Oakenshield was just about to lose his mind and he couldn’t explain it. 

“You need to tell me what’s going on. I know this ‘need of all need’ of yours is pretty rough on you and honestly, it is on me too. But after all this, after all we’ve shared don’t you think you owe me to at least answer my questions when I talk to you?” 

You sat back down on the bed, drawing the sheet over your body as you were suddenly starting to feel very exposed and very alone with Thorin standing in the corner, avoiding your touch, your questions, and even your eyes now. 

Unable to hold it in anymore and feeling you were just about to burst into tears, you took a long steadying breath and sighed loudly before saying: 

“Thorin, listen. Maybe we sh-“ but you couldn’t finish your sentence as Thorin crushed your lips with his in a sizzling hot kiss you didn’t expect. 

You brow shot through your hairline at the sudden assault and you were about to welcome the kiss when you remembered you still didn’t have an answer to your question. Pushing him away, reluctantly, you tried to talk again but he cut you off once more. 

“Please don’t leave! I’m sorry! I’m just, I’m so sorry! Please don’t leave me…”

Dumbfounded, you could only stared at him with your mouth slightly opened. 

“I don’t know what’s come over me. I feel like… I feel.. _argh_! I have no idea what I’m feeling but I don’t like it!” 

“Calm down, Thorin. We’ll figure this out. It’s probably just another phase of this _Arukhel_ of yours.” 

“NO!! No, this, this is something else entirely. I can’t… I can’t breathe; my heart is pounding out of my chest, all I can think about… is you. There’s only, only you. Nothing else. You’re… you’re everywhere…” he spat out breathlessly, looking down at the floor as if in defeat before letting himself fall limp on his knees. 

Looking at him in this state was unbearable and you didn’t know what to make of it. But you loved him. Gods, you loved him more than anything in the world so you did the only thing you could do. You rushed over to him, grabbing the back of his neck, cuddling his head into your thighs, caressing his soft hair while whispering sweet nothings to try and soothe him. 

When he felt your touch and his head pressed against your thighs, something that had been sleeping deep inside him roared to life and though he couldn’t quite name it yet, it sent a blazing inferno of need rushing through his whole body. He grasped at the back of your legs as if he was holding on for dear life, pressing urgent and needy kisses to the front of your thighs while chanting your name endlessly. A sharp stab of want went through you and in seconds you were on your knees, too, kissing his lips feverishly. But everything about him was different then. He tasted differently, he kissed you differently, and his hands on you were different too. He suddenly broke the kiss to speak. 

“Sweet Durin, I want you so much still… I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I know this, I need to be inside you right now!” 

The pulled you up into his arms and walked you over to the bed. He delicately lowered you to the bed, and still towering over you, he bent down to kiss you. His lips were dancing with yours, an oh so sweet and languid dance, nothing like the kisses he had given you before. This kiss was slow and deep, his tongue softly caressing your mouth with passion and want, like your mouth was a delicious forbidden fruit he couldn’t get enough of and it took your breath away. When his lips parted from yours, you were left feeling dizzy and eager for more. He started dropping kisses on your eyes, the tip of your nose, your cheeks and he worked his way down your neck. You could hardly believe this was the same dwarf as before! It wasn’t just naked lust anymore, there was something more. It felt like he was worshipping every single inch of your body. The blissful torture was never ending and it made you feel like you were just about to die of need if he didn’t take you right away. 

Like he was hearing your very thoughts, he rapidly shoved his hand between your legs and plunged a finger inside of you. A sharp cry escaped you as you arched your back with pleasure. Thorin brought his head between your legs again; gently caressing your inner thighs with his beard, painfully slowly licking at your folds while pumping his finger in and out of your dripping wetness and you started seeing stars again. Your inner walls started gripping onto his finger tightly and it cued him to insert a second finger into you, immediately followed by a third. 

“AH! Gods Thorin! Don’t stop!” 

“I’ll never stop, never again, I just can’t…. Come for me… Come for me my… my… _Âzyungal_ ” 

You were about to ask yourself if you had heard this right when your orgasm ripped through you with such intensity that your eyes flew open and you screamed so loudly it burned inside your throat. Breathing with difficulty and still dazed by your release, you tried to get up on your elbows to look at him questioningly. 

He looked dreadfully panicked when he realized what he had just said and not wanting him to take too much time to dwell on this, you mustered what was left of your energy to throw yourself at him, kissing him senseless.


	11. Chapter 11

Thorin didn’t respond to your kiss right away, still too caught up in remembering his last words to you. _Âzyungal_ , my love and lover, could this be? Could he have truly found his One in you, a human? How was it even possible? You were such a delicate race, nothing like the sturdy and powerful dwarves, and your lives were so short. How could he be expected to love and cherish one who would leave him so soon and… 

Stubborn as ever, he refused to believe it and he started to push you away angrily. You fisted a hand in his dark locks, deepening the kiss, your other hand wrapping tightly around his painful erection, making hiss through clenched teeth. 

“I won’t have any of this!” he flared, almost shouting. 

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to scream at you. I’m tired from this night and I don’t think I can take much more of this,” he replied, trying to free himself from your grasp, fully intent on leaving you like this, with no explanation whatsoever. 

But you had come to know how hardheaded he was. You knew he wouldn’t yield easily, even though you were now convinced he had feelings for you. 

“Let me take care of this for you. I can tell you’re still in pain...”

He looked at you, searching your eyes for answers, not knowing what to say or what to do, caught between a great need to give in to you and the fear of what it would mean if he did. His expression broke your heart. You could tell he was both frightened and distressed, eager still for your touch but so conflicted about how he felt that he couldn’t totally abandon himself to the sensations until he found completion. 

Taking him by the hand, you guided him back over you as you laid on the bed, opening your legs for him. The heat of his body over yours covered your mind with a thick haze of lust and love. You directed his cock at your entrance right away, lifting your hips greedily toward it. Thorin’s eyes fluttered close when he slipped slowly into your heat, a shaky breath escaping his parted lips. 

“Don’t think, Thorin, don’t think… just feel. Feel me, feel how we fit perfectly together. Feel how tight I am around you, how your thick cock stretches me so deliciously. Let it take you over and come for me.” 

“Mahal, yes…” and wincing with need as he started to rock inside you, listening to your every word, trying to focus on the sensations only, feeling his body come to life again, forgetting his hesitations, his fears, and just basking in the flawlessness of it all. 

As the intensity of his pleasure increased, his anxiety came creeping back. Lifting himself on one hand, he grabbed your knee to instruct you to wrap both your legs around his waist, allowing him to thrust deeper into you. You couldn’t believe how good it felt to have him buried this deep. Even after all you had done, you still wanted him inside you, always. So you tightened your legs around him, crossing your ankles on his back, and running your hands on his muscular arms. You encouraged him to move faster, throwing your head back on the bed, enjoying the way he possessed you. 

An odd feeling suddenly came over you when Thorin’s thrusts became erratic and uncoordinated. You opened your eyes to look at him. His expression sent shivers down your spine… but this time, it was shivers of fear. He looked distraught, anxious, but worse than before.  His eyes were travelling from the place where you were joined to your face and back again. His panic was evident, and you wondered if it really was a good idea to have him take you again, without addressing what was going on with him. 

Out of breath you tried talking to him between his thrusts. 

“Thorin? Thorin, look at me. What is it?” 

He looked at you again and he was the perfect picture of desperation, his brow pinched close together in the middle of his forehead. Your heart skipped a beat when you realized the depth of his distress. 

“I… I don’t know… I just…”, he said, slowing his pace inside you. 

“Thorin, talk to me, please. What’s going on? You’re scaring me!” 

“I… I w-want you…”, his voice only a whisper, his eyes pleading. 

“You have me, my Love. You have all of me.” 

“ _My love_ … You keep calling me ‘my Love’… It’s t-torture…” 

You were not sure what to make of his last words. Perhaps you were mistaken in thinking he had feelings for you. Perhaps you were coming on too strong when, in fact, all Thorin wanted was to satisfy his need in you. 

“I have you now but…It’s not…. Enough… I… I don’t have the words…”, Thorin mumbled, almost incoherent. 

“Don’t be scared… it’s okay, I can take it… slow down and close your eyes… focus on what you feel, on what you are trying to say… but don’t use words… show me… show me with your body, Thorin.” 

And that seemed to calm him… he slowed his thrusts into you, still as rock-hard as when he started fucking you, what seemed like days ago. He closed his eyes, taking in a shaky breath. His hands were trembling on your hips and for a minute, you feared you might have lied to him… you _were_ scared of what was happening now! You took everything he threw at you, all of his passion, his desire, his terrifyingly powerful need for you. You took it all. But what if this was not enough… what else more could you possibly give him now? 

Thorin had a look of utter concentration on his face now. He was still pumping into you slowly, which was agonizing. You were so close to coming, again, when the mood had changed and you now had a painful ache inside you that needed to be soothed and fast. You were overly sensitive. Everything inside you was tender but you couldn’t seem to get enough of him. However, you didn’t want to rush him, not now. 

To make matters worse, Thorin suddenly stopped moving altogether. You looked at him and he slowly opened his eyes, gazing at you, a look of absolute peace and serenity overcoming his features. Never breaking the connection you had, he slowly let his body cover yours, bringing both his hands to cup your face. His face was only inches away from yours, your breaths mingling and his amazing blue eyes staring right into yours. Time stopped. You couldn’t have described that instant. It was such a small gesture, caressing your face like that, but all your feelings for him swelled up inside you and were pushed to the surface. You were about to say something to him when he gently put a finger on your lips and started to move inside you again.

His thrusts were long, deep, and slow; like he wanted you to feel every single inch of his length brushing inside of you. He retracted his cock almost all the way out and pushed it back in _slowly_ , _purposefully_. Just when you thought you might die from the incredible feeling of his flesh deeper and deeper into you, he gently but firmly snapped his hips forward. He didn’t increase his pace, but the deeper he sank into you, the sharper his final hip thrusts became. With every single thrust, he was rubbing hard on _that_ sweet spot inside you, making you see flashes of light behind your eyes. He had one hand firmly holding your hip in place as he sloooowly drove into you. With his other hand, he grasped at your shoulder, trying to bring you closer to him still. It was never enough. It was all so erotic, so passionate, so… perfect. This, this was lovemaking. 

“Oh Gods…. Oh fuck, Thorin what are you doing to me…. Oh Gods!... Gods, it’s too much… oh fuck…. Don’t stop… just don’t stop!!” 

You were lost in the feeling of him. Lost in the sensations that were overwhelming your whole body. Your ears were ringing and you weren’t sure if you were going to laugh or cry, the sweet confusion driving you insane. You all but forgot Thorin’s issues. You shut your eyes tightly and you began to meet Thorin’s thrusts forcefully… Tears pooled in your eyes. You were afraid to come, afraid that you would lose your mind, afraid of what this meant to him… of what this meant to you. 

Thorin’s breathing became harsher. You felt him throbbing deep inside of you. You knew he was going to come soon, one powerful orgasm. You wanted to see him come, you needed to see him come, so you opened your eyes. He was still staring at you. He grabbed your hips with both hands, tilting your pelvis, gaining more leverage to pump into you, keeping the motion slow and deep but increasing the tempo. 

“Fuck! Thorin, Gods I’m so close… so close, please…” You shut your eyes tight again, your head thrashing from side to side, hands clawing at the sheets and then at his back, his hips, anything as you tried to hold on to something, _anything_ desperately. 

“ _Âzyungal_ …” he whispered softly, completely lost in the moment. 

Your eyes flew open as you heard him calling you lover again. Thorin gazed straight into your eyes when he said it this time, intentionally slowly, like he was savouring the meaning of the word for the first time. You were speechless, transfixed by him, mere seconds away from falling over the edge and you saw Thorin’s face, twisted from the sheer force of his feelings for you, finally accepting them, finally making peace with them, as thick tears rolled down his cheeks, his brows coming together in a wince of pure pleasure, and giving you one final perfect thrust, he groaned loudly as his load spilled deep into you, before he said 

“You are my One, I love you so damn much…” 

Your orgasm tore through you with such force, you almost passed out from it. You heard your high-pitched scream of ecstasy and your voice sounded strange to you.  You shook violently, grabbing at Thorin while he kept thrusting into you, riding out his orgasm. And you came again… a strangled cry of his name on your lips and your tears flowed freely, unafraid, shameless. With a broken voice, you answered him back. 

“I love you, too, _melhekhuh_ ” 

Thorin’s chest swelled with pride, the expression in his eyes so soft but yet so passionate when he heard you calling him “my King” in his native tongue. 

“That has got to be the most beautiful thing I have ever heard in my entire life…” He smiled at you lovingly. 

Thorin bent down to give you the most passionate kiss you ever experienced. You laced your fingers into his dark locks, pulling him toward you, wanting him to be closer, wanting him to devour you again, forever, always. When you parted, he slid out of you, his cock finally falling limp. You crawled next to him, cuddling by his side. You sighed with bliss, turning your face toward the window to notice the sun just rising. What a perfect night this was, and the fact that you knew there were so many other nights like that to come filled you with an unspeakable joy. Resting your head on Thorin’s shoulder, you barely noticed him wrapping his powerful arm around you before you fell fast asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

You woke up around midday because you were having trouble breathing. Opening your eyes you quickly understood why; Thorin was sprawled over you, heavy and sweaty and sleeping like a log. You couldn’t help but chuckle a bit while trying to push him off. He grunted something unintelligible and curled next to you, sighing deeply. 

Was it even possible that he was more gorgeous now than he was a few hours ago? You ran your fingers delicately in his dark mane, lightly massaging his scalp, enjoying his warm breathing on your side, contemplating every inch of his perfect face. After what seemed like an eternity, you got up reluctantly to grab yourself something to eat, being careful not to wake him. You were beyond exhausted and you ached _everywhere_! Walking was especially painful but it was an undeniable reminder of the past night, when Thorin took you all for himself, marking you as his forever with both his seed and his words. 

You decided to prepare yourself some tea while you were at it when you were distracted by a loud rumble coming from outside. Rapidly putting on fresh clothes, you opened the door to step on the porch, closing it silently behind you so as not to disturb Thorin’s slumber. You half-expected to see Bofur there, eagerly waiting for news, but instead you saw a few men from the village arguing close by and some of them were pointing in the direction of your shop. An uneasy feeling crept in you. Surely this wasn’t concerning Thorin’s presence. You were allowed a private life with a man or a dwarf if you so chose! No, this didn’t concern him. 

Your heart sank when, amidst the arguing men, an all-too-familiar face showed itself. What you had feared from the start was coming to reality right before your eyes. He had found you, after all those years, and he was here to claim you. Without thinking, you bolted out into the forest next to your house, running like a madwoman, trying to escape your dreadful fate. However, the house was surrounded and it wasn’t long before one of the castle guards caught you, effectively putting his large hand over your mouth to muffle your cries for help and took you away. 

Inside the house, Thorin was still sleeping peacefully; unaware of what had just transpired.   

*** 

Thorin woke up a few hours later. Feeling around in the bed, he was surprised when he didn’t find you there. Raising himself on his elbows he looked around the room and called out for you. No answer. Given that it was already late in the day, he thought you had perhaps gone out for errands. He got up, slowly, his head pounding with a dull ache from last night’s effort and the fact that he hadn’t eaten in hours. 

Walking into the small kitchen, he noticed the kettle was set on the fire and there was a mug with some tea in it. Something about this scene and the dead silence around him put him ill at ease. He went back to the room to put some clothes on and walked out of the house to find Bofur and ask him if he had seen you. 

There was an inn at the farther limit of the city and that is where Thorin found Bofur, patiently drinking ale. When Bofur saw Thorin approach and noticed the state of his mane and his very awkward gait, a broad smile covered his face. 

“So, Thorin! Rough night, huh?” and he winked at the king. 

A low chuckle escaped Thorin. “You could say that, yes.”

“Go on!! Do tell!” 

“If you think I’m about to share what happened with you, you are sadly mistaken, my dear Bofur!” 

“Ah, come on, Thorin! You know very well the whole company has been dying for you to find the courage to make a move on our healer! So? Did you just, huh, ‘make a move’ or was there something… more?” 

“I made a move alright. Actually, a made several moves, if you know what I mean…” he winked at Bofur. “But beyond that, and not that it makes any sort of sense, we both sealed our fate last night. She is my One and only.” 

“Finally!! I knew she was the right one for you! And who cares if she’s human! She was made for you! She’s the only one who can tolerate your temper!” 

“Easy there, Bofur!” 

Bofur burst out laughing, taking advantage of Thorin’s light mood. 

“So, where is she?” 

“You mean you haven’t seen her either? I thought for sure she would be with you since she wasn’t in the house when I woke up…” 

“That’s odd. You’d think you’d be inseparable after a night like that!” 

“Let it go, Bofur! I won’t tell you more!” 

Pouting like a child, Bofur got up and started asking the few folks that were around if they had seen the healer. No one knew where you were, but then again, the inn was quite far from the center of the village, where your shop was. So Thorin and Bofur decided to go into town to try and find you. 

As they got nearer to the town center, the villagers started to look at them funny. They would stare and turn their gaze away rapidly whenever Thorin or Bofur looked at them directly. Most of them would walk away fast when they saw them approaching, as though they fear them. 

“What in Durin’s name is going on here?” Thorin said, uneasy. 

Turning to a young boy you didn’t seem to share into the town’s fear of the dwarves; he asked him if he had seen the healer. 

“The healer? You should know! It is your fault is she is gone!” 

“What? Explain yourself, child,” said Thorin, on the brink of panic. 

“The villagers, they say it is your fault that she is gone. You told those bad men where she was because you wanted t-“ 

“Leave that child alone, _dwarf_! I’m warning you!” said a man you came running to protect the child. 

“I will not harm the child! What has got into you people! Where’s the healer?? I demand to know!” 

“Oh you ‘ _demand’_ to know, do you? Well, perhaps, if you hadn’t told those guards to arrest her she would still be here now wouldn’t she?!” 

“Arrest her?? What in Durin’s name for?” 

“We all know the story! She went with you on that quest to find a home, as generous as she was. But all you did was be mean to her and send her back here in shame!” 

“I did no such thing!” 

“Oh really? Then why did she close the shop for _months_ , refusing to see anyone, crying her eyes out all day long?” 

Thorin flinched at the words. It was true, he was the reason she was crying so, he had been an ass and he knew it but all of this was behind them now! 

“You are right. I was mean to her, though it was not my intention to hurt her. But we sorted things out. That is why I came back!” 

“You came back because you were in need of her gifts, that’s all! We all know she’s not a _regular_ healer, there is no way a normal woman would be able to heal others the way she does! But we never said a word about it, to _anyone_ , because we were all so glad we had her since the first day she walked into our village.” 

“ _Your_ village? You mean to say… she wasn’t born here?” 

“Listen here, dwarf. Don’t you think you’ve caused enough trouble as it is? Don’t try and act like you care. You came here to take over her secrets and her trade. Well, congratulations! They’ve taken her away from us now, so the shop and its mysteries are all yours! You can be proud of yourself!” 

Thorin was so furious with the villager that he almost lunged at him to choke him, but Bofur stopped him in time. Thoughts were racing madly through Thorin’s mind. He didn’t see anyone suspicious and worse, he didn’t hear anything when you were taken. He swore under his breath, angry with himself for sleeping for so long and not being there to protect you, as he should have been. Now, he would go to the ends of the world to find you, even if it meant that he had to lay down his life for you, even if it meant leaving his quest behind. 

Getting back to the house, Thorin looked around, trying to find some traces, some clues as to what had happened to you. 

“Pack our things, Bofur; we’re leaving.” 

“Where do you suggest we go?” 

“ _I_ will go after her. _You’ll_ get back to the company.” 

“How do you plan on finding her, Thorin? It’s madness!” 

“I’ll follow their trail easily enough. There are a lot of footprints around the house. I can easily find hers; she’s much lighter than the armed men. If you go around the house just there, you’ll notice you can’t see her footprints anymore. They must have grabbed her right there. Fucking bastards, if they hurt her…” 

“Don’t think about that now, Thorin. Focus on finding her and sending us word if you find her.” 

“Hold on. What’s this?” Thorin said. He saw something on the grass that seemed to reflect the light and he knelt to pick it up. It was the gift Thorin had crafted for you, your family emblem. It must have fallen off when they carried you away. Thorin took it in his hand and pressed it to his heart, shutting is eyes tight. He swore on his own life that he would find you again before putting the pendant around his neck. Shaking the dread away, he turned back to Bofur who had an odd expression on his face. He was looking at the pendant and when Thorin caught him staring, Bofur looked away, avoiding his gaze. 

“Boooofur? What’s wrong now?” 

“N-nothing, Thorin, really. I mean it’s just…” 

“Out with it!!! This is no time to keep things to yourself, Bofur. We must find her!” 

“It’s just that she made me swear not to tell a soul, Thorin! Of course, she didn’t tell me the _whole_ story but, you know… it’s funny, in a way… it’s Ori’s fault, really. You know how he gets all curious and such…” 

“ENOUGH, Bofur! For Mahal’s sake, TELL ME!” 

“Okay, okay. The symbol, that pendant you forged for her, you already know it’s her family emblem, right?” 

“Yes.” 

“Right. Thing is her family is huh… is a very _old_ family among men. A very important and rare family. Ori saw her handkerchief, too, and he remembered the symbol and he just looked through his old diaries, you know, those awful books he carries with him at all time? Well, he looked through those and he found it. He didn’t know what to make of it so he came to me. He knew I was close to her and so h-…” 

Thorin started tapping his foot on the ground, impatiently, a dark look looming in his eyes that told Bofur he had only a few more milliseconds left to spit it out or Thorin would have his head. 

“She’s of the Dunedain, Thorin. There, I’ve said it.” 

Air left Thorin’s lungs in a rush as if someone had hit him hard in the chest and he almost tilted over. Time stood still for a few seconds as things started to fall into place. Your defiance, your fighting skills, your incredible stamina and strength… not to mention that healer’s touch you had. It all made sense now, even the fact that he had fallen under the spell of _Arukhel_ for you. Mahal only knew how old you truly were; you could possibly outlive him! 

“Well… that sure explains a lot.” Thorin said, pensively. “But it doesn’t clarify why she was taken though, now does it…” 

“I don’t know much more than you do about the world of men. But she did tell me not to tell a soul about that symbol and she kept it hidden at all times.” 

“And she is not from this village. Perhaps she was hiding here?” 

“It would look that way.” 

“Thanks for telling me this, Bofur. Go join the company. I’ll follow her trail. The tracks are still fresh so they can’t be that far ahead. I’ll send word if… I mean _when_ I find her.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains graphic depiction of violence and torture. You've been warned.

So there it was. Thorin finally knew the truth about you. He always suspected you were different, but never could he have imagined this. You were Dunedain, the line of Numenor, blessed with long life. 

Even as a child, among your people, you were the odd one. You were adventurous and curious about other races, always going off into the wild to find something magical, letting your imagination unleash. You were a lot like your father, a dreamer himself. Perhaps because your mother had died in childbirth, your father had always been lenient and forgiving with you. He taught you the ways of your people, trained you to become a healer like himself, but still allowed you your freedom. Because of this, most other men of the tribe looked down on your father and gave him grief. So when you became of age, your father was forced to do something he had been ashamed of since. He was forced to give your hand in marriage. 

Truth be told, the many wars that had come to pass and the very low birth rate among the men could only lead to one inevitable outcome: the Dunedain were a dying race. As such, female Dunedain were betrothed from birth to ensure that the lineage would survive. You knew how important this was to your people but your wild heart longed for more. You longed for love and passion and you felt none of those things for the man you were supposed to marry. Goralmir was his name and like all Dunedain men he was tall and fair-skinned with shoulder length blond hair. He was known through out the people for his bad temper and coldness. He was harsh in his manner as well as in his words. No one would dare defy him for they knew they would feel his wrath. He was cunning and heartless, no doubt twisted by the influence of Sauron and his dark power, which made him greedy and malicious. His pale grey eyes had no warmth in them, only windows showing the soulless depths of his depravity. 

Therefore, when Goralmir came to know that you refused to take his hand in marriage, a dark plan started to form in his mind. It wasn’t long before your father fell suddenly ill, a mysterious sickness that not even the healers among the Dunedain could mend, and he died soon after. You were always suspicious that Goralmir, your husband-to-be, had killed your father. Without his protection, you were arrested and confined to your quarters until the day of your marriage. 

Goralmir was in no hurry for you to become his wife; no, he wanted to break you first. He had you locked up for months, enjoying the power he had over you, telling you he was only trying to tame you so you’d be a suitable, submissive wife for him. You were a prisoner of that horrible man for a long time before you managed to escape. You had formed a plan in your mind. You would wait for a night where Goralmir would throw one of his huge parties where everyone ended up drunk, and you would make your getaway. You would leave behind your name and your lineage and disappear, hoping to start anew somewhere. You had your healer gift so you would find a village where you could work, always hiding your identity. You had left with nothing but your clothes and your father’s handkerchief as a reminder never to forget your origins, never to forget him, though you would never be able to tell anyone who you truly were. 

You had roamed the wild for many months before settling into the town that soon became your new home. The villagers had welcomed you with open arms when they noticed your talents as a healer. It wasn’t long before you opened your shop and started living a semblance of normal life with all of them. All that happened ages ago, it seemed, but time passed quite differently for men and women of the Dunedain. You were finally living a peaceful life, your dreams of love and passion all but forgotten, and you were content in the way things were. Until Gandalf came along. When he appeared at your door and offered you a chance to take part in this adventure, it had awoken a fierce desire in you; this need to discover the unknown, to go where none had gone before, to meet new people and races. It had taken over your mind. Still, you had hesitated to say yes, because you were always afraid to be discovered. But Gandalf’s presence, reassured you. You weren’t particularly fond of dwarves, but, as you remembered fondly now, as soon as you had laid eye on Thorin Oakenshield, you knew there was no escaping this. He had stirred deep emotions in you right away, even if at the time, those emotions circled around wanting to kick his ass! 

Still, you had to admit that when you first started falling for Thorin, hope came back to you. Hopeful that he would love you in return, taking you away to his realm under the mountain and that you would never again hear about or fear the return of Goralmir. You would grow old, eventually, always at the side of the dwarf King. 

But fate, it seemed, had caught up with you. Your hands were bound behind your back and a gag was in your mouth, as you rode back to the nightmare you had run away from many years ago. How Goralmir had heard that you were living in that village you didn’t know, but you knew with absolute certainty that it wasn’t the dwarven company that had given you away. The dwarves… how you would miss them all so much. And Thorin, Thorin your One, the love of your life…. He wouldn’t understand, how could he? He was going to wake up only to find you gone, without a single explanation, without even saying goodbye. Your heart ached terribly as you imagined his perfect form still sleeping in your bed. You already longed to touch him, to kiss him, to hear his voice in your ears, whispering sweet nothings, at least one last time. For you knew you would never get the chance again. You could only wish to all the stars that Thorin wouldn’t try to find you because if he did, there would be only one way to ensure that he survived. You would have to break his heart and you didn’t know if you had the strength to do it. If Goralmir came to know that Thorin loved you, or worse, that he had bedded you, he would kill Thorin without hesitation. There was no escaping this. If Thorin found you, you would have to deny your feelings for him and send him away. You knew it would hurt him beyond words, but you had to make Thorin believe you didn’t care for him. Only then would Goralmir be convinced that you were still untouched and he would leave Thorin alone. 

It was the only way. 

*** 

After days and nights in the saddle, on foot, tracking every sign, Thorin was weary, yet still driven.  His One was drawing him onwards but he still needed his rest. Following a meager meal, Thorin put out his bedroll and fell fast asleep. He couldn’t expect what was to come next. 

Goralmir was no fool. Not only did he send a scout ahead to prevent any trouble from befalling them, he also sent one looking back to make sure no one would follow them. One of his guards had noticed Thorin drawing close to them so he waited for the cover of the night to make his ambush. The dwarf was startled by the noise but didn’t have the time to react before he was hit in the back of the head by the hilt of a sword. 

The guard made is way back to Goralmir to report the news. 

“So! Someone is coming to your rescue after all!” Goralmir sounded very proud of himself. 

“And he’s a dwarf, no less! You sure keep strange company, love.” 

He untied your gag, hoping you would betray yourself but you just stared at him, not saying a word and trying to keep your composure. It had to be Thorin. It had to be him, coming for you, as you feared. You only hoped he wasn’t already dead… Relief flowed through you when you heard the guard continue. 

“What should I do with him, my Lord?” 

“Now let’s see. What do you think we should do with him, love?” 

“Why would I care?” 

“Oh! So quick to dismiss him, huh? Though you travelled for quite a while with them. Surely you made a couple of friends and now you don’t care what happens to them? What are you hiding, little liar?” 

“You’ve clearly never had the opportunity or should I say misfortune of meeting any dwarves, I see. They’re an annoying race. Filthy, ugly, and stubborn, their minds only bent on seeking their precious treasure.” 

“Are they now? Well, if you say so. Still, I prefer to make sure he came alone and that we are not in for more surprises, yes? Come on, let’s go visit that awful dwarf.” 

*** 

Thorin woke up to a sharp pain and throbbing to the head. He was on his knees, facing a tree, with his arms wrapped around the trunk, wrists bound together. Your breath caught in your throat at the sight of him, your body almost betraying you further as an almost uncontrollable need to run to him overcame you. But you knew you had to pretend as if you didn’t care, you had to protect him. He meant everything to you. If you could just avoid looking into his eyes, you’d be okay. 

Goralmir came down from his horse and unbound your wrists. He always stood up with his torso bulging forward with pride, as if the whole of the world owed him allegiance. He paraded toward Thorin more than walked, commanding his troops to follow him like they were a pack of dogs, with a mere snap of fingers. Stopping besides Thorin, he gave the dwarf Prince a thorough look, his contempt for the lesser creature clear on his face, before turning around to look at you. 

“Hum, yes. Filthy and ugly, definitely…” he chuckled, hoping to make your temper flare or your resolve falter. But you just returned his stare, your expression as stoic as you could manage. What almost undid you was when Thorin noticed your presence. 

“ _Âzyungal_! Thank Mahal, are you alright?”, said Thorin. 

You felt sick to your stomach, knowing you had to ignore Thorin’s pleas. Your insides were shaking though you remained composed. 

“ _Âzyungal_? What’s that? Your new name?” chuckled Goralmir. 

“I have no idea what that word means, my Lord. Surely a word from that dreadful native tongue of theirs,”  you replied to him, giving Thorin a haughty look. 

“W-what? But… but…” Thorin all but whispered in reply. 

“But what, dwarf? What did you imagine? That I would welcome you with open arms, perhaps? How could I make it any clearer to you that I want nothing to do with you!” you spat out bitterly at him. 

“Could this be true? Have you really taken a liking to my wife-to-be, little dwarf?” said Goralmir teasingly. 

Thorin’s jaw dropped at the words, his eyes darkening dangerously but also filling with tears of disbelief as he gave Goralmir a death stare. 

“Your wife-to-be?” he said to Goralmir between clenched teeth, but he turned to stare at you as he spoke the words. 

You had to swallow hard when his gaze met yours. You could see the terrible hurt, the betrayal he felt, but what broke your heart the most was the ease with which he believed you didn’t care for him. 

“Yes, dwarf. She’s been betrothed to me for ages now. But we allowed her this little, hum, let’s call it ‘vacation’ time, where she pretended to be a regular human being before coming back to the castle to become my wife.” 

Thorin was shaking violently, trying to get free. “Stop calling me dwarf!” he growled at Goralmir. “My name is Thorin Oakenshield!” 

“Oh my! The future King Under the Mountain then!” and turning to you, “As always, man of power are drawn to you, love.” Goralmir winked wickedly at you. “Perhaps our friend Thorin here was hoping to make you Queen, too. Look at the way he’s staring at you, on the brink of tears, but furious nonetheless. So much… passion! So much determination! I can hardly believe you didn’t return his affections, love!” 

This was getting out of hand and you didn’t trust you voice to speak again. You couldn’t bear to see Thorin hurting this much. But things were just about to take a turn for the worse. 

“Let’s put it to the test, shall we? Guards, rip the ‘King’s’ shirt off,” he said with a belittling tone. 

One of the guards took out a knife and slashed open Thorin’s shirt, exposing his back to the night air. Then two of them came on both sides of the dwarf, horse whips in hand. Goralmir grabbed at the back of your neck and forced you on your knees, pushing your face against the bark of the tree, right next to Thorin’s face. 

“You are sure now, love? If you do not care for him, then you won’t mind if we whip him to death, right before your eyes, huh?” 

Shivers of fear ran through you then, but you never let your eyes betray your feelings. Thorin’s face was so close to yours, his breath hot on your cheek, you had but to reach out a little to kiss his lips. Instead, you took in a shaky breath and staring right into the endless blue of his eyes, you whispered, “I care not. Do with him what you will.” Thorin’s gaze and shoulders dropped in defeat, losing his will to fight, losing his will to live, if he couldn’t have you. Goralmir pulled you up by your hair, laughing loudly at your answer before he gave the order to the guards to start their assault on Thorin. 

*** 

Thorin didn’t make a sound nor did he shed a tear. No whimpers, no pleas. Both guards were relentless; whipping Thorin’s bare back to shreds. His eyes were locked on yours, finding his strength in you though you just had broken his heart. Every time the whips broke his skin, the corner of his mouth twitched slightly but he stared on. You could only watch, internally horrified, wanting nothing more than to shout at them to stop! Wanting nothing more than to drop to your knees, to beg for mercy for him, to implore Thorin’s forgiveness… Your mind was going around in circles, cursing the day you had met Thorin now that you were putting him through such suffering and reminding yourself that this was the only way to save him. He was in agony now, but Goralmir would soon be bored with this game and he would let Thorin go. You remained cold as ice, your facial expression passive though you were shaking violently from head to toe, holding Thorin’s glance throughout, marvelling at his endurance though you wished he would just yield. His stubbornness was only putting oil on the fire, encouraging Goralmir to keep torturing him until he broke him. 

Thorin’s back was now covered in slashes. He was bleeding profusely and you could tell he was starting to weaken; his eyelids were half-closed now, he was shivering and his skin was terribly pale. You were afraid for his life. Would Goralmir kill him right there? Thorin rested his forehead on the bark of the tree, almost unconscious as the guards sliced the skin from his back. He broke eye contact with you. His ears were ringing and his vision was starting to narrow at the side. He started mumbling words you couldn’t quite make out except for the few times he repeated your first name and the name of his maker. You immediately shifted your gaze to Goralmir and he was eyeing you suspiciously. 

“Have you had enough, love? Should I let you go to him now, to mend his wounds?” 

“Yes, it is getting boring… You should just leave him h-”, but your voice broke as you were overcame by a forceful bout of nausea. 

“Ah! Nice try my dear! You might have him convinced that you don’t care but I’m not so sure. Perhaps he should just come with us to the castle, what do you think? A dwarf is perfectly suited to live in an underground dungeon after all, no?” 

Trying to regain some sort of composure, you looked back at Thorin, biting down on your lip. He was hanging limp, his face crushed on the tree, all his weight pulling at his restraints. The guards kept whipping him though he had already lost consciousness, until Goralmir finally gave the order for them to stop. Thorin was barely breathing when they cut his bonds. He slowly slipped down the side of the tree, his face hitting the ground in a soft thud and resting in a pool of his blood. Muffling a whimper by crushing your hand to your mouth, you turned around quickly. Thankfully, Goralmir didn’t notice that slight misconduct, too busy admiring his work as he towered over Thorin’s limp form, smiling proudly. A prince might be worth a rich ransom, regardless of condition.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a flashback description of the violence in the previous chapter.
> 
> Also, it might sound a little dub con, but we all know now of much the characters love each other so it really isn't. But, still, it might be a trigger for some, so be careful.

It was nearby rattling that startled Thorin awake. His body felt numb and he could barely open his eyes; he felt terribly weak and disoriented. Managing to open his eyes at last, he was confused to realize that he was lying on a bed in what looked like a dungeon cell. He could not recall what had happened to make him to end up here. He kept looking around the small chamber and on a table next to his bed; he noticed several vials of colorful liquids, jars containing a variety of herbs as well as a larger bowl that held wide strips of fabric covered in blood. It was enough to make the memories rush back with frightening speed. 

He recalled the pain well enough, but what he remembered most vividly was your ice-cold stare as he was being tortured. Your harsh words returned to his mind and he could hear you as clear as if you were standing right before him. You had pushed him away. You had ignored his pleas and that had hurt him so much more deeply than the whips ever could. The whips... His vision suddenly became blurry and he shut his eyes tight, reeling as the memory of the assault overwhelmed his mind as if he were still there; the snapping sound of the whips echoing all around, the smell of blood, his blood, dreadful and metallic, the searing pain ever biting at him and your eyes, your stony and empty eyes, looking on… He shook his head violently, trying to get rid of the terror, calming his breathing, trying to get his wits back. As his vision returned gradually, he noticed that though he could feel some pain in his back, it was very mild, which made no sense. Thorin very carefully lifted his torso from the bed, wincing a bit when the skin on his back stretched from the motion. The pain rapidly subsided once he was sitting straight. His chest was still bare so he slowly lifted his arm and reached over his shoulder to touch the skin on his back. How could this be? He could feel several bumps on the skin, as though scars had already formed there. It dawned on him then that they must have called on you to use your gift to heal him. 

 _Humph! Surely hoping to restore my health so they can torture me some more, not that it mattered now_ , he thought to himself. He had no idea what the future held for him but he started to question his decision to go after you. 

*** 

You were sulking over your deeds in your cell when an old woman, no doubt a servant of Goralmir, came walking in with a tray of food. She put the tray down and standing right before your steel door, she stared into your eyes knowingly. You couldn’t shake the feeling that you knew her but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. 

“You don’t remember me, do you?” said the woman in a weary voice. 

“Should I? I haven’t been in this castle for many years.” 

“Yes. Many years indeed. I was but a child then…” comprehension dawned on you as she smiled at you. 

“Fiona?? Could it be you?”

“Yes, my lady! It is I,” she said happily. 

Fiona had been only an orphan teenager serving Goralmir when he had first imprisoned you. You two had quickly become friends and confidants. Over the months you were held captive, Fiona had found a way to fashion a rudimentary key to unlock your cell. At first you two had been scared to death to be discovered but after a few days of her always entering your cell to chat with you and comb your hair, you had decided it was safe. No doubt Goralmir knew about this trespass, but he also knew full well that your cell was well guarded and that you wouldn’t escape. Somewhere in the back of his mind he even welcomed this friendship, thinking that forming a bond with that child would make it harder for you to leave. He had been wrong about that, though it did break your heart to leave her behind. 

“How come you are still Goralmir’s slave? At your age, surely he can afford just leave you in peace now!” 

“I don’t mind it, my lady. It is my destiny to die in this castle, but it is not yours. It never was.” 

“My sweet Fiona, this time I don’t think there is a way around it.” 

“Is it because of that dwarf?” 

Startled you answered, “How do you know about that? Has Goralmir said anything?” 

“No my lady. But I had to tend to his wound after your performed the healing. He had to be fed, too. In the worst of it, just before you came to make it better, the fever had started. During the night, I would watch over him. I don’t know why I did it. I couldn’t help it. My heart ached to see him like this. But he kept thrashing for hours and he would say your name over and over again…” 

Her words pulled at your heart and tears pooled in your eyes. 

“Thank you for watching over him. He suffered like that because of me. He’ll never forgive me, not after this.” 

“Of course he will! I can tell from the look in your eyes, you love him, don’t you?” 

“More than anything in this world, Fiona.” 

“Then you should tell him. Right away.” 

“How can I? I am stuck in here.” 

“Then let _me_ do it. Let me go to him and explain.” 

And so you explained everything to Fiona. Then she was on her way to convince Thorin to forgive you. 

*** 

When Thorin walked into the room that held your cell, he couldn’t hold his head up, instead staring at his feet. He slowly made his way to the door of your cell and, using the key the servant had given him, he unlocked it. You were surprised at his entry before you remembered that key and you half smiled to yourself thinking _Dear Fiona!_ That smile was rapidly erased from your lips has Thorin passed through, taking a shuddering breath, trying to find the courage to look at you. He tried to calm his nerves, as if he were not furious with you. 

You didn’t say a word, hardly breathing, as you examined his every move, trying to assess if he was still in pain, if he was sad or angry, or if he even cared anymore. You were ashamed beyond words of what you had put him through, not convinced anymore that this had been for the better, now that he was a prisoner of Goralmir, too. 

He strode all the way to the back of the cell, his back to you, before he rested his hands on the wall, still looking down at the ground. You could sense he was holding back, trying to remain composed, having no idea either, of how to act around you now. 

You started to make your way toward him, cautiously, lifting your hand to touch his shoulder when he turned and faced you. You thought better of touching him when you saw the dark and threatening look in his eyes, his lips set in the thin line. There were no words to describe how he looked, distraught, perhaps, but it was more than that. He was so deeply wounded, broken, and so very very angry you wouldn’t be surprised if he just growled at you had your hand lain on him just now. 

Putting your hand back down, you didn’t quite meet his eyes when you whispered, “I’m so sorry Thorin.” 

Fury flared in with the sharp intake of breath through his nostrils. He grounded his teeth and bared them to you before snarling “Don’t you dare!” in a low and menacing voice. 

You took a step back, frightened by his visceral reaction when he started to pace toward you, his eyes burrowing into yours from under his brows has he breathed heavily. For every step forward he took, you took one back until your body hit the steel bars of your cell. He only stopped inches away from you before reaching forward with his large arm and wrapping it tightly about your throat, pushing your body painfully against the bars. A startled and choked sound escaped you as both your hands covered his, your fingers clawing at his grip, trying to relieve some of the pressure that was preventing you from breathing as he squeezed harder, almost lifting you off your feet. He knew full well now, that you could take him, being almost as strong and enduring as he was. He knew, as well as you did, that he could never hurt you physically but his anger and hurt were out of control. He wanted revenge now. Blinded by his despair, he wanted to make you pay, to make you hurt as much as he had. 

“How could you?” he barked. “How could you stand there and watch me suffer!” 

“I’m sorry.” Your voice was only a whisper as you still fought for air, pulling at his hand. 

“NO! You don’t get to be sorry! I would have given everything for you, ANYTHING…” 

“It wasn’t real Thorin, I swear it! I was only trying to save your life, an-” 

“IT WAS REAL FOR ME!!!” he growled a little too loudly, trying to stop himself from shouting, not wanting to be discovered by the guards. When tears started running down your cheeks and your lower lip trembled with the need to breathe, he let go of his hold on you. You fell limp to the floor, struggling for air and you rubbed at your throat. 

“I really am sorry…” you said, your voice strangled by the cries you were holding back. Thorin turned his back to you again. The more you pleaded with him, the more his resolve faltered, his anger shifting from you to himself.  He was afraid of yielding and conceding his forgiveness too easily, for he wanted nothing more than for your pleas to be honest ones. 

He covered his face with his hands, not knowing what to say or what to do when he felt your hands on his hips. You forced him to turn around and face you as you knelt before him. Looking up at him, you kept imploring him for forgiveness silently. You crushed your face to his body, not being able to be away from his warmth anymore, feeling him shudder at the contact, the bulge in his pants already semi-hard. You lowered your face to brush his erection, your hunger for him driving you forward. 

“Don’t.” A single word from Thorin was meant as a command as he tried to back away from you. You tightened your grip, encircling his hips with your arms. He closed his eyes, conjuring up as much self-control as he could manage, his hands forming fists mid-air, refusing to touch you and give in. 

You started to unlace his briefs, rapidly reaching inside to free his now rock-hard cock. Not pausing to ask permission, you wet your lips and went straight for the throbbing head of his prick, licking at it, pushing it teasingly pass the engulfing heat of your mouth, pulling delicious moans from Thorin. 

“Don’t. Please,” Thorin said, in a less than convincing tone, has he dug his fingers in your hair and pulled to remove you. You knew if you let go of him then, you would never again have this opportunity so you swallowed the rest of his length deep in your throat, grabbing his ass cheeks with both hands and pushing his hips toward your wanting mouth before humming in delight around him. 

Thorin’s need proved too fierce to resist, his head lolling back as a guttural groan escaped him. He withdrew his cock almost all the way out of your mouth before snapping his hips forward forcefully to shove back in, hitting the back of your throat painfully. 

“Mahal how I’ve missed your sweet mouth. Are you trying to bribe me into forgetting what you did to me?” he said, his breath laboured. You could only look at him and slightly shake your head for side to side. 

“Liar,” he said harshly. “But this is what you do best, right? Lie? Though you sure know how to suck a cock.” He was still trying to hurt you as much as he could in his state, trying to detach the emotions from the sex, trying to belittle you so you would feel as used as he had.

Trying to make him lose himself in the sensation, you increased the pace, leisurely licking at the underside of his shaft and sucking hard at the head in equal measure, bobbing your head faster as your hand came to tease at his ballsack. 

“Mmmm yes… that’s it… Suck it. Milk it. Sooo good…” he rumbled and he increased the speed of his thrusts in your mouth. 

You added a second hand to stroke firmly at his length while you sucked harder and it almost undid him. 

He suddenly withdrew from your mouth, pushing you to fall on your behind. You looked up at him surprised. All you could say was “I want you.” 

“You don’t get to tell me what you want! I don’t care what you want.” 

Grasping you by the arm he pulled you up and threw you on the bed, shoving your dress up your thighs and ripping away your underwear in one swift motion before crushing his face forcefully between you legs. Your hand flew to your mouth, effectively muffling a loud moan before you threw your head back in delight. He was greedy in his ministrations, turning his anger into fiery lust as he ate at you. He was pushing your hips open wide with the width of his shoulders, working on you with his lips, his tongue, his fingers, even his teeth. You were thrashing your head from side to side, trying not to scream out loud as his assault was becoming almost painful. He was suckling your clit with force while thrusting two fingers inside your heat. You could barely hold it together as your orgasm built, your muscles clenching tightly around his fingers. When he sensed this, his mouth left you. 

“Look at me. I will not give you the satisfaction of coming undone by my fingers. Do you hear me?” 

“Please Thorin, let me come! I’ve said I was sorry what more d-” 

He curved his fingers inside you then, brushing the tip over _that_ sensitive spot inside you and you were at a loss for words. 

“That’s it, you like this, don’t you? I know how good you can be at this,” he said distantly, all the while pumping his fingers fast inside you, pushing you to the brink. “Yet you preferred to see me suffer rather than admit your love for me. But for this… to come by my hand, to have me fuck you all night, for this you are wiling to beg…” he said, his vicious words biting at you, wringing at your heart causing new tears to form in your weary eyes, as you shut them, concentrating so you wouldn’t come, trying to earn Thorin’s trust and forgiveness. 

“But I won’t give you your release, not that easily. _This_ is _not_ for you,” he said before removing his hand from your heat. You didn’t dare complain. Out of breath, you looked on as Thorin ripped at your clothes, removing his in the process before he turned you on your side and slipped in behind you. He wrapped one arm under your leg, spreading your hips open and hooking your leg behind and over his hip. He then snaked his other hand underneath your neck, pressing a firm hand over your mouth before taking his erection in hand and rubbing the thick sticky head of it over your wet sensitive folds. 

“You will take my cock and you won’t make a sound. And, you _will not_ come. Don’t you _dare_ come before I tell you to. Nod if you understand me?” he snarled and you did, tears falling freely from your eyes now, your heart shattered to pieces at his coldness but also thrilled by his power over you, the sweet conflict of it all making you dizzy. 

A violent shudder ran through you as he entered you and though he wasn’t being gentle about it, you were already so wet for him that he slipped in easily without pain. Yet you were terribly close to coming and has he started to build a punishing rhythm, he kept on nudging at that sweet spot inside you. 

“I will reclaim every last bit of you… I’ll mark every inch of your body with my spunk. I swear to Mahal, my touch will ruin you for all others!” he said through clenched teeth, shutting his eyes tight, disappearing in the sensations. 

He was relentless, fucking you fast and hard, one hand leaving bruises on your hip while the other was still crushed on your mouth. Sparks of white light appeared behind your eyes as your body was wracked with waves after waves of pure pleasure. You tried to think about anything else to make the amazing sensation of being filled by him go away. Before you knew it, your thoughts were filled with images of Thorin being whipped, his pleading eyes imploring you to help him and you wept convulsively. 

Your outburst threw Thorin out of rhythm. His eyes flew open and taking his hand away from your mouth, he sighed deeply. He looked at you over your shoulder, terrified he had utterly wrecked you for good, and he slowed his thrusts into you, his shame almost unbearable as he realized what he was doing to you. As he made to ease out of you, you seized his wrist. 

“No, don’t stop! I need you Thorin! I need you so much…” You could not stop sobbing. 

“What have I done…” he said, humiliated. 

“I deserve your wrath, I deserve all of it. I’m so close, please don’t stop. Come in me. Come in me and wash away all that dread, please!” 

“I can’t… not like this…” He slowly glided out of you and instructed you to straddle him. 

“I n-need to see your face… I need to see it in your eyes, that you still want me, that you still… love me.” Looking up at you, he took your breath away. His eyes were red with the sheer force of his emotions, struggling to get the words out, sobbing on the word ‘love’.

“Make love to me, my treasure. Make me believe it again, that I am your One… I need you to make me believe it or else there is no point in me living anymore…” he choked out. 

You reached to caress his face with trembling fingers, moved to tears again at how vulnerable he looked, baring his heart and soul to you. 

You took his erection and directed it at your entrance before you painstakingly slowly lowered yourself on him, making his shudder and moan loudly. You pulled him up as close as you could and you held him there. 

“I never stopped loving you from the very first day I laid my eyes on you,” you whispered, your eyes never leaving his. 

“Don’t ever leave me again. I wouldn’t survive. Please don’t ever leave me again,” he said finally before you both started moving. 

After that, no words were spoken; you only dove into the deep blue of Thorin’s eyes and abandoned yourself completely, allowing your feelings to take control of your body, to show him, to make him understand, to make him _feel_ that your most profound desire was to love him and cherish him, as long as you both would live. And he gazed back at you, overcome by his desperate need to lose himself in you, and the rest of the world fell away. He guided his thrusts by the rhythm of your panting and moaning. His previous ministrations had left your insides raw and now his thick cock was leaving a burning trace inside of you, as you felt every inch of him pleasure you. You could feel yourself stretching around him, swallowing his length, pulling at him to plunge deeper into you. You ached, you burned, but it was also blissfully good and all consuming. It was like he was taking you for the very first time, like he had never left you. You could feel the power of his love for you in every thrust he hammered into you, his resolve unshaken by your treason. And so you drove your hips back down on him, squeezing tightly around his throbbing shaft, relishing the moans that escaped him, the way his eyes lolled back in his head as his ragged breath mixed with yours. The tension built and built, so warm and electric, and you started to shake with your need to come. When your orgasm peaked, you sensed him tense below you in unison. Grabbing the sides of his face forcefully, you brought him closer to you still, his nose mere millimeters away from yours, your lips brushing lightly on his, so he could read your love for him from the very depths of your soul. He tightened his grip on your hips, his thrusts became erratic, and you both came powerfully, totally overwhelmed by the feeling of the other, screaming your ecstasy in each other’s open mouth as your rode out your orgasms. 

In the throes of passion you had forgotten about your cell, your captivity, the fact that Thorin was supposed to be in the dungeons and that, surely, guards had heard those screams of passion.


	15. Chapter 15

Moments later, the guards were in the room, Goralmir following not far behind, snapping you brutally out of your reverie. 

“Well, well, well… What do we have here?” Goralmir gloated. 

You tried to cover yourself with the bed sheets as the guards swarmed the room while Thorin hastily put his briefs back on. 

“I knew you were lying to me all along but this more than confirms it. What am I going to do now?” continued Goralmir, before reaching for a handful of your hair and pulling you to your feet. 

“Let go of me you brute!” you scowled at him. 

“Now, now, pet. Be nice to your future husband. Otherwise, I’ll have to punish the dwarf for your insolence!” 

From the corner of your eye, you could see Thorin thrashing in the hands of his captors. He easily threw two of them aside and got free. Seconds later, four guards were jumping on him, forcing him to the ground. 

“Feisty thing, isn’t he? Well, he won’t be for long!” said Goralmir, giving you a contented smile.  “Bring them to the main room. It is time to resolve this matter for good.” 

Fright crept back into you, seizing you by the stomach as your hopes of escape faded. 

*** 

Thorin’s hands were bound behind his back by shackles and chains. Still bare-chested, he was forced to his knees before the chains were secured to the floor of the main room. Goralmir had the maids dress you up and attached your hands in front of you with softer fabric, though you still could not free yourself from them. 

Goralmir forced you to kneel before him, right next to where Thorin was tied up. You could not help but stare into his eyes, even though Goralmir kept ordering you to look at him. Thorin would not break eye contact with you either, though the guards kept delivering blows to his head for disobeying. Thorin hissed out loud but kept staring. 

Goralmir knew he had to change his tactics to make the two of you comply. He got up and walked toward you, looming over you. 

“I hope you know, dwarf, that this changes nothing. Don’t think that because you had your dirty little way with her, that I’ll consider her spoiled and I’ll let her go!” He chuckled, playing on Thorin’s nerves. “She’ll still be mine, in the end, and she’ll enjoy it and you will never get to touch her or see her again! She’ll beg me for more, I can guarantee it and maybe, if you’re really really good, I’ll let you watch while I take her.” Thorin growled at him, blinded by rage, pulling at his restraints like a wild animal. 

“You can have my body, but you’ll never have my heart!”, you interrupted, trying to be brave, trying to calm Thorin so they wouldn’t beat him again. 

“Who said I wanted your heart, love? Take her to my chambers,” said Goralmir in triumph. 

And something broke inside Thorin then. “NOOOOO!” Thorin choked out half in tears, half enraged. “You will not lay a single hand on her or I’ll fucking kill you where you stand! Do you hear me? I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!” 

You looked over at Thorin, crying anxiously not because you feared Goralmir, rather because you feared you would never again lay eyes on the One you loved so much. 

Thorin’s eyes met yours, fear and pain contorting his beautiful face as harsh tears ran down his cheeks and he pulled again at his chains, shouting in despair. 

“NOOOO! No, leave her alone! Mahal, no! _Âzyungal_!!” 

You could do nothing more than let out a strangled cry, putting your hands forward reaching for him. “I’ll always love you, Thorin Oakenshield. Always.” 

“For Durin’s sake, no! I can’t live without you!! I love you more than life itself!!” he yelled, as they dragged you away from him. 

*** 

Thorin was vaguely aware of it when Goralmir came to him and started to hit him. He was dazed, as if in shock, just imagining what Goralmir would do to you after he was done beating him. Thorin didn’t care if he was hurt or suffered; all he wanted was to find a way to free you from all this. He tried as best he could to avoid the punches, but that was made nearly impossible by his restraints. Goralmir was ruthless, using his mailed glove to land crushing blows to Thorin’s face, laughing all the while as Thorin’s resolve started to fade on the edge of consciousness. Goralmir was enjoying himself before he ‘attended’ to his wife-to-be. Thorin’s mind was filled with images of you, and he held on to them fiercely. It dawned on him that he might not survive this. Goralmir stopped then, as if he had heard Thorin’s reflections. However, it was only because he was now reaching for his sword and bringing it under Thorin’s chin. The blade was cold and sharp. Thorin drew in a shaking breath as it sliced at the tender skin of his throat, knowing that this breath would be his last. 

“I do not think it would be very wise for you to kill for future King of Erebor, Goralmir,” said a thunderous voice that seemed to come from so far that Thorin wasn’t sure if he was imagining it or if it was real. 

Gandalf had yet again found a way to arrive in the nick of time, right before Goralmir was about to strike Thorin down. 

“This matter does not concern you, Wizard!” spat out Goralmir, angered beyond reason at being interrupted. 

“Oh, but it does. I am a guardian of Middle-Earth and such as, the lives and well being of all the creatures of the realm concern me. What you are doing here to Thorin and the healer must stop at once,” said Gandalf in all his wisdom, as calm as ever. 

Goralmir faltered a little, removing the blade from Thorin’s throat. 

“Really? You are concerned for the healer, too? How come I didn’t see you come rushing in to save her the last time I held her captive?” replied Goralmir, wickedly. 

“Do not think that because you did not see me, I wasn’t there Goralmir. Did you ever question, I wonder, why it was that no one noticed her escape that night?” replied Gandalf, a half-smile on his lips as he winked at Thorin who was now lying exhausted on the floor. 

Goralmir opened his mouth to speak back but nothing came out. 

“Yes. Now you are getting it. I did intervene that night, only to ensure that she would escape, unarmed, to fulfill her destiny,” continued Gandalf. 

Goralmir chuckled at that. “Perhaps you did. But it doesn’t matter now. She’s not escaping again.” 

“I wouldn’t bet on it, Goralmir,” said Gandalf confidently as he widened his stance, staff at the ready. 

“I will NOT let you take her away from me again, Wizard! If you want her, you will have to go through ME!” 

Gandalf didn’t need much more encouragement. He discarded his grey robe and moved toward Goralmir so fast, it looked like he was flying. Gandalf struck Goralmir in the stomach with his staff, but Goralmir was Dunedain after all, strongly built with stamina to match. Goralmir recovered instantly, his sword swinging wide to strike at the wizard’s midsection. Gandalf dodged easily as he spun around full circle before hitting Goralmir on the side of the head. Goralmir cried out loudly in pain, his other hand reaching for his bleeding head, but he didn’t lose his balance. With frightening speed, Goralmir delivered several successive swings at Gandalf. Although Gandalf managed to block most of them with his staff, he was still cut on the forearm. That’s when the other guards decided to barge in to help Goralmir. Gandalf sidestepped them in one swift motion before directing the head of his staff toward them. Uttering words no one could understand, Gandalf sent them flying backward into the air. Gandalf saw Goralmir reach up with his sword as he attempted to hit Gandalf in the back of the head with his blade, but as mighty as Goralmir was, he wasn’t as fast as Gandalf. Gandalf whirled around, and with his staff, sent Goralmir shooting through the air. As Goralmir flew, his sword fell from his hand before his whole body smashed against the wall with a loud thud. His body fell to the ground where he cracked open his skull on the stony steps at the entrance of the room. He lay there, lifeless, a large pool of blood forming under his head. Gandalf went over to him only to realize it was too late. Goralmir was dead. Gandalf closed his eyes as he ran a hand over Goralmir’s face, closing the deceased’s eyes, whispering a few farewell words. 

The confusion that followed was overwhelming. All the guards rushed to Goralmir, trying their best to avoid Gandalf in the process, while some were trying to get back to you, holding you responsible for the events that had transpired and wanting you to pay, while yet others went to finish the job on Thorin. Gandalf managed to push them away from Thorin before freeing him and telling him to run as he went to get you. Thorin made his escape, hiding in an adjacent room, waiting for things to calm down and for Gandalf to come back with you unarmed. 

You had heard the commotion in the main room and had recognized Gandalf booming voice. You smiled fondly at him and threw yourself in his arms when he came walking in. You immediately asked him if Thorin was all right, which he confirmed. Relief rushed through you then. 

“Oh, thank you Gandalf! I don’t know what would have become of us without your help! Undo my wrist, I have to go to him.” 

But Gandalf only stared at you, without moving. 

“Come on Gandalf. He needs me! And I him, we have to leave this place at once!” 

“Yes, yes you do. You have to leave right away.” Before you made your way through the door, Gandalf added, “But Thorin can’t go with you.” 

You stopped dead in your tracks, holding your breath, not turning to face him. 

“What do you mean by that?” your voice barely above a whisper. 

“Goralmir is dead. I had no intention of killing him but this is how it turned out anyway. For this, his men will hold you responsible. They will hunt you for the rest of your life if we do not find a way to make them believe you are no longer a threat…” 

“Make them believe? But… how?” You turned to look at him and his eyes were utterly sad. 

“You are at a crossroad now. Your path and Thorin’s are heading in different directions. You have to part ways with him, forever. Otherwise neither you nor he will survive. You must trust me on this.” 

Bitter tears ran down your cheeks as rage and despair boiled inside you. 

“Let me see him one last time! At least! Gandalf, please, I need to explain it to him. I need to tell him… I need to tell him…” 

“But he already knows, my dear. Your love for each other is plain on your faces and is unmistakable by your actions. You cannot go to him, there isn’t enough time. You need to drink this.” 

He showed you a vial containing a green liquid and when you opened it, it smelled foul. 

“Argh, what is it?” 

“It is a simple potion. It will slow down your heart rate enough to simulate your death. I’ll call the guards in then, explaining that you couldn’t bear the shame of what had transpired here so you took your own life. I’ll further explain to Thorin that you are still very much alive and that I will protect and look after you for the future.” 

“But… but what about him?” you choked out, your voice broken by your cries. 

“I am truly sorry for having to put you through this. It breaks my heart as it will undoubtedly break Thorin’s, too. But he will come to understand my decision. In time, he will trust me again.” 

You knew that if you took even another second to think about Thorin’s reaction, you would never have the courage to do what Gandalf was asking of you. You knew, of course, that he was right. He had always watched over you and he would still. That put your mind at ease, at least a little, to know that he would protect Thorin as well. Therefore you threw your head back, downing all the content of the vial. You felt dizzy almost instantly and Gandalf helped you to lie back on the floor. Moments later, you passed out, your heart rate too low to keep you conscious. Gandalf caressed your cheek with the back of his hand. 

 “My dear girl, there will never again be a greater love than the one that is between you and Thorin Oakenshield. You will both live long lives, and though you will be apart, you will find a way to feel content with your destinies. Yet, you will never love another soul again, nor will Thorin.” 

Gandalf stood up then and made his way to the room where Thorin was waiting. He explained to him what had to be done. Thorin’s reaction was as gut wrenching as yours though there was more anger. 

“You had her do WHAT?” Thorin glared at Gandalf, using all of his self-control not to lunge at the Wizard to strike him. 

“Thorin there is no choice. This way, she will survive and she will be at peace. No, she won’t be by your side, but at least she will be alive,” Gandalf said, trying to soothe Thorin with his words of wisdom. “It is done Thorin. She drank the potion. Come with me now so the guards can bear witness to her ‘death’ and you can leave this dreadful place.” 

Thorin could barely stand on his feet but it wasn’t from Goralmir’s blows. No, it was the prospect of seeing you lying there, pretending to be dead; not being able to talk to you, at least one last time. The thought of spending the rest of his live without you was so unbearable he could hardly breathe. But he had lost the will to fight then so he followed Gandalf as he gathered the guards and entered the room where you lay on your back, unmoving, your eyes closed. 

Thorin fell to his knees, pulling at his hair, cursing at the stars and at his maker, putting all of his hurt and rage at the injustice of not being able to be with you into play, as he helped the others believe that you were truly gone forever. Thorin lowered his head to yours, whispering his love for you in your ears, hoping that you would still be able to hear him. He ran his hand through your hair, one last time, before pressing a tender kiss to your lips. 

As the guards started to leave the room, Gandalf walked over to Thorin, putting a hand on his shoulder as he still hovered over you. 

“Will you see her again? Once she’s reached the shores I mean?” said Thorin. 

“I will. To ensure she got to her destination, unarmed. And to tell her that you are safe, too.” 

“Good. Then give this back to her.” As Thorin held the pendant he had forged for you and that you had lost when the guards captured you in your village. 

“Shall I tell her anything?” 

“No… no. There are no words powerful enough to describe my love for her, nor are there any words sorrowful enough to explain the hurt I feel now and will feel as long as I shall live.” 

“Though you do not believe this now, Thorin, time will pass and it will become easier for you. You have a lot yet to do as future King, like finding a good place to rebuild your people and this will give you purpose and direction. I have no doubt in my mind that your love for her will not diminish, but the hurt of being apart, however, will subside with time as you will find your place in this world, knowing that she is safe.” 

Thorin could only blink his tears away as he looked up at Gandalf. 

“How should I find my way back to the company now?” 

“Have faith, Thorin. Your company is waiting for you outside.” He smiled and winked at Thorin. “Surely you did not think they would let me go after you without their help! I managed to convince them not to come inside, but not to come here entirely… well, I know the stubbornness of dwarves too well to attempt that!” 

*** 

When you woke up a few hours later, you felt weak and drained. There wasn’t a sound in the castle when Gandalf help you out. He sat you on his trusted friend, Shadowfax, and without much more than a goodbye, he whispered in Elvish in the horse’s ear to guide his path, until you reached a safe haven in the West. 

***

It was late in the evening and you were tidying up the kitchen with your maid when the Battle of Five Armies ended at the gates of Erebor. Some 170 years had passed since the last time you saw your One and you still missed him just as much, though you were now very old and weary. Sometimes the memories that flooded your mind were hard to bear but this time, this time is was entirely different. You felt a sudden sharp stab in the heart and you dropped a pile of dishes that fell to the floor in a loud crash. You had trouble breathing, clutching at your chest and then at Thorin’s pendant around your neck, only to realize it had gone cold as winter itself. You knew immediately that Thorin’s light had ceased to shine upon the world. You fell to your knees amidst the broken plates. You cried and cried, until there were no more tears to cry. 

*** 

Your maid must have helped you to your bed that night, where you fell unconscious from exhaustion. Your eyes were dry and red, a thick and painful lump still lodged in your throat when you woke up. You found the energy to get up, still, and slowly made your ways downstairs. Your maid was preparing tea for you in silence. 

“Did you see him this morning?” you asked her, your voice still raw from the screaming and crying. 

“Yes, my lady, I did. He came by to visit, as he always does.”

“Did you tell him?” 

“No. I didn’t have the heart to…” 

“Good. Good. All in good time. Where is he then?” 

“You know how he is. Sometimes I swear he still acts like a child! He’s probably off riding into the forest, again, eager to go on another reckless adventure!” 

You chuckled at that. 

“Who can blame him after all! He’s so much like his mother!” the maid said teasingly, winking at you. 

“Yes, that he is. And there is no point arguing with him because he is also as stubborn as his father,” you said, your throat tight with emotions. 

You walked toward to window, taking in a deep breath of fresh air to steady your racing pulse, and looking in the direction of the forest, you smiled fondly as you imagined your son, who had grown into a not-so-tall Dunedain man, with raven black hair and piercing blue eyes. You silently said your goodbyes to the love of your life, your One, knowing now that he would never see his only child.

THE END.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though it was not my intention at the beginning, I believe I just might have written Thorin's love backstory that Richard Armitage refered to in an interview. I still can't believe I pull off writing such a long story. Thanks for sticking with it until the end. Please leave comments and reviews.


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